Living with Styles

fifteen

*Harry's POV*

"I'm sorry, we did everything we could." The doctor says.

My mother's puffy eyes start pooling up with tears. She puts a hand over her mouth and sits on the waiting room chair.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Styles, he's gone." The doctor looks like this is just a normal thing for him to say.

"Mommy?" I say. "Where has daddy gone to?"

"Your father has gone to a happier place." The doctor kneels down to my eye level. "A place with white, puffy, clouds and sunshine all the time."

"He went to Hawaii? Why didn't he take mommy, baby Bella and I?"

The doctor laughs dryly. "He went somewhere better than Hawaii. But he couldn't take you guys because, well, you weren't ready yet."

"Where did he go, then?"

The doctor looks at my mom with pursed lips.

After a few moments of silence, my mother finally says, "Your father went to Heaven, Harry."

I open my eyes abruptly. I've never had this dream before. Although, it does seem familiar.

Is it a memory? Is it a nightmare?

I turn on the lamp sitting on my nightstand. It's only 10:37pm.

There's a pink sticky note laying next to my phone.

Harry-

I went out with Perrie and the girls and probably won't be back until tomorrow morning.

Bye.

-Isabella

Since when does she do social things without me dragging her out of the house? And every time I do, something reminds her of mom and she starts freaking out.

I hope Perrie can handle her.

-

*Bella's POV*

I'm going to visit my mother.

At her grave.

I got a ride from Perrie and Zayn to the cemetery.

"Are you sure you don't want us to just wait for you?" She says as I open the car door.

"No, I don't want to keep you here all night." I say through Zayn's open window. "Thanks again for the ride." I try to smile.

Zayn nods and Perrie starts the ignition.

I start walking through the long, narrow path through the garden of graves.

It's rather dark and fairly cold tonight. The wind nips at my cheeks and makes them a rosy a pink. I pull my sweater tighter over my torso and cross my arms over my chest to keep it from coming undone again. The wind blows my already unruly curls into my face and I keep having to push them aside.

I come to my mother's grave, right next to my father's.

I kneel down on the wet grass and run my fingers over the inscription.

It's started to rain, but I've barely noticed.

The hot tears run down my the sides of my face and I can taste the saltiness of them in my mouth as I speak.

"Hi, mom." I manage to say. "I, uh, i wanted to talk to you. You know those stories you would tell me about how i had an older brother? The one that left? Y'know, Harry? Well, Harry came back. He came back to take care of me. Do you know where he went? He went to England. He moved halfway across the world. And I'm trying, I really am trying to forgive him, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's so hard. He hurt you so much. He hurt me, too. I know you would want me to make amends or something, but when I think of him, I think of you. Of how depressed you got when he ran away." I swallow hard. "When he looks me in the eyes, all I can see is you. He has the same emerald green eyes. He looks just like you. And it pains me to see your face. Because all I can think about is how you looked when the car hit us. You looked at me with such worry, but your eyes were full of love. You didn't have to say anything, because your face itself said, 'I love you.'" I lay down on the wet grass. "Harry has been trying to be nice to me, but I'm being kind of difficult. I'm sorry, mom. I know you wouldn't appreciate that." I attempt a laugh. "He likes juice boxes, too, mom. Just like you and I do. He also peels bananas from the bottom, like you used to do. He plays Go Fish with his friends, but I don't think you'd like the way they play." I sit up, cross-legged, in between the graves of my late parents. "Every time they get a book, they take a drink of beer. I know you never liked drinking games, but Harry is responsible. He doesn't drink a lot when he knows he has to drive me home. Even if I'm being super stubborn and rude, he'll still take as good care of me as he possibly can. His friends seem to like me, too. I guess that's a good thing. Their names are Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn. Also there is Zayn's girlfriend, Perrie. She's really nice and quite beautiful. I think you would like them." I take a deep breath before I continue. "Do you know what Harry did for my 15th birthday? He threw a marvelous party and he had his friends, who are in a band, sing and Harry even sang, too. It was wonderful. He has an amazing voice, just like you did. Except his is, well, manlier." I giggle slightly among my tears. "It's been 3 months since you went away. I miss you, mom. And I love you. So much. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I'm so sorry, mom."

I lay back down on the cold, wet grass. My tears and the rain blur my vision as I look up at the dark, cloudy sky above.

A boom of thunder and then a streak of lightning that lights up the entire sky, which usually would scare me half to death, doesn't faze me at all.

I lie here, motionless. Thinking of all the wonderful memories I've had with my mother. I also think about the not-so-wonderful ones. Like how depressed she got when dad died and Harry left.

Harry left.

For 13 years.

Without a single trace.

Suddenly he comes back just to take care of me.

Why?

It's not like he cared.

But why did Harry leave?

That doesn't matter. All that matters is that he left.

He doesn't understand.

These thoughts flutter through my mind as I doze off into a deep slumber in between my deceased parents' graves.

~

Thank you for reading <3

Just felt like I haven't said that enough (if at all)

Comment and vote:)

-Anna xo