late night thoughts.

one.

'Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.'

Why doesn't someone love me?

I mean, I guess that means I'm unlovable. That's a bit sad to think about. I mean, I am a bitch. I talk about people behind their back, I get angry about nothing, and I have friends that I do not deserve. I thought that was called human nature. But maybe it means I am unlovable. Maybe it's because I'm only a teenager and that I'm 'too young to even know what that word means'. But I think that's bullshit, I mean I think everyone knows what something feels like. Does a baby knows what it feels like to feel pain ? Yes. So yes, I believe everyone can feel love and on the other hand, everyone can feel heartbreak. Heartbreak and love are very much felt. By everyone. 

And maybe no one has loved me because 'i haven't met the right person'. That's bullshit too, everyone is capable of loving everyone, if they see you in the right perspective. I could have loved anyone, heck I could have loved Donald Trump (which i do not, but that is another heated conversation), if i saw him in a certain light. There is beauty in everyone, everything, you just have to find it somewhere. It may take a long time to find, or it may be a tiny little speck of beauty inside a whole lot of ugliness, but it's always there, for the world to find. 

So i am waiting for someone to find the beauty in me. I know I don't see it, but i know it's there somewhere. it has to be, right? My mum says she thinks i'm beautiful, but more times than not she has proved that wrong. I honestly don't think anyone sees beauty inside of me, but there is always hope. Is there?

None of this makes sense, but it does in my mind, which is all that matters.