My Collection of Dark Poetry

The Passing Of A Life That Has No Right To Exist

Time seems to pass by so slowly,

And sometimes so fast when you look back at it.

All the possible potential within you gradually disapearing with the passing of time.

With the passing of time,

I feel many regrets about my life,

And wonder why I continue.

I can't come up with why I still continue but I also can't come up with a realistic reason to stop.

My grades at school are below average... 

Yet I am still expected to be able to get into university.

Are grades everthing?

I fear disapointing the people I love and care about,

Not being able to live to their expectations.

I never meet their expectations

Maybe that is why I have been told that I am a waste of space, air, time and money.

My own parents have given up,

Veiwing me as a lazy leech.

Secretly I do certificates of acheivements online,

Secretly I write and read,

Secretly I watch movies, tv series and anime in foreign languages.

My parents only know one language.

And neither of them currently have any qualifications.

I do many things secretly in the fear of their disapproval.

The fact that I repeated year 11 is like a stain on white carpet that will never disappear to them.

Why do I still live? Is there any reason for me to?

I see my younger sibling struggles through the same things as me

But I have been able to hide it.

Unlike me, my sister is very smart.

Even though she does school through distance education

Her grades will be higher than mine.

Sometimes I envy her,

That if she chose to

She could get into any university, any course, in any country she wanted to

And yet she still has not seen this.

But that is okay.

I just want her to make the choices that will make her happy.

I try to be as encouraging as a possibly can

And help her if I can.

Am I wanting to help my sister so much because I don't want her to be like me?

A failure that people say have no right to live?

Sometime I get angry at the life I was given.

Why couldn't I get the grades I wanted and need so much?

My D grade average won't help me get into university,

And certificate courses require you to do certificate 1

But you have to do certificate 1 while being in year 11.

It is too late for me to do anything worthwhile in my life.