You Don't Belong Here

Ayrton and Monaco

1st May

I looked up at the sky and let a tear fall down my cheek. It's been 20 years since Ayrton's death and it still affects me hugely. Unfortunately I was only 4 years old when he died, so I didn't get to watch a lot of his races and I didn't understand most of it. But he's still my favourite F1 driver ever!

I knelt down and placed the flowers I had bought, on the side of his grave. I sat there for a few minutes, taking it all in and let a fresh set of tears stain my cheeks. 'Rest in peace Ayrton, you're forever in my heart' I whispered and pulled myself up, taking one last glance at the grave and turning away, leaving Senna's grave for another year. My breath was heavy as I walked to my McLaren ___ and slid inside, firing the ignition and let my car crawl away from the most inspirational and loveliest person ever born.

How are you doing? A message from Seb. I placed my phone on my bedside table, I didn't want to talk, it sounds horrible, but I'm just so upset. I also feel kind of stupid, I'm not part of the Senna family, I'm not Brazilian, so Senna hasn't saved my life. Yet I'm still an emotional wreck. I guess it's because he was so talented and he saved a lot of lives and it wasn't fair he was taken from us so soon. My phone buzzed again Right, I'm coming over About 5 minutes later, there was a knock at the door and then Seb shouting 'I'm coming upstairs' I laughed slightly at how close we are, that he can just walk into my house! 'Hey Pep' He switched on the TV in my room and then put in the Senna DVD. He pulled out some sweets, chocolate and cider from a plastic bag he had bought. I grinned through my tears and he slid under the covers of my bed. I felt Seb's arms wrap around my waist and I snuggled up to him.

Yes, Seb has a girlfriend, but don't worry, we're not flirting, he's my best friend. Seb's girlfriend's actually pretty sweet, but I suppose that's what I thought about Hanna, until she went crazy at the end.. Anyway, Seb's been dating this British girl called Sophie. She's very pretty and she's been nice to me, the few times we've met. If I had a boyfriend and I walked in on him cuddling another girl I'd probably be pretty angry, so let's not tell Sophie. I turned my attention to the TV as the music began, I broke into a nice galaxy chocolate bar, opened up my cider and took a swig.

By the end of the film I was sobbing uncontrollably and Seb held me tighter. He whispered comforting things in my ear and as it started to get dark out, I drifted off to sleep.

Monaco Grand Prix

Okay so the last race I told you guys about was Bahrain right? Since then there's been the Chinese and Spanish GP. They went well actually! I came 2nd in China and 4th in Spain. So now I have 65 points all together, well I'd probably have more if Kimi didn't take me out in Malaysia.. So that leaves me 4th in the championship! Lewis 1st, Seb 2nd, Kimi 3rd and then me! But this track is challenging, with it's tight turns and twisty parts of the track. It's going to be fun!

*Fuck, fuck, fuck* I thought to myself, this is so much scarier than I thought it would be.. Okay, deep breaths, keep calm. This isn't too bad, I'm 2nd on the grid so if I can just get past Lewis, who's on pole, then they're will be no dirty air. Once again, the lights went out and I threw myself into the first corner, hurtling round and coming out without a scratch on the otherside. In 1st! I can't make a mistake, that Mercedes is fast. The adrenaline rushed through me, I was leaving the Mercedes behind, with about a second a lap. *I can do this* I thought to myself. 63rd lap. 'You have the lead over lewis by 55 seconds. Keep it up' I heard my engineer, Sam, in my ear. I've already had 3 pit stops, I can make it to the end.