Holding Out For A Hero

Holding Out For A Hero [Chapter Nineteen]

Chapter Nineteen

Genevieve’s POV

            Do you know the one thing that can make even the most stunning girl ugly is? If you guessed narcissism, you’re wrong. If you guessed crying; then you would be correct. However if I asked you what made ugly girls even more ugly, what would say? I doubt it would be crying.

Unfortunately for those of you that said otherwise, crying made the ugly girls that more ugly. Which would probably be the reasoning to why I chose the bathroom stall the farthest from the door to do my crying in.

            The tiled floor was freezing and coated in layers of grime. Yet I could care less. Sitting on a dirty floor was far less life altering then what had just happened in Mr. Dayan’s Social Studies classroom. The regret I was feeling was beyond all.

Crying silently to keep the whole school from hearing was not helping my case. I wanted to sob and pound my fist against the wall in self hatred, screaming out at the top of my lungs. Maybe then if I did that, I could relieve my heart from the anger towards myself that was building up on the inside.

Reacting the way I did seemed to be the right thing at first. Of course as soon as the question was out of Beau’s mouth I was trying to figure out just the right way to answer him. I didn’t want to tell him about my biggest insecurity. At first I was too surprised he even noticed something was wrong.

Then I realized it was my own fault. If I hadn’t of absentmindedly brushed away my bangs, then my secret would’ve been still a secret. Just that simple action had managed to ruin just about everything. If there was a lone sturdy thing in my life at the moment; it was Beau. And now what did I have? I had nothing but the look his face had transformed to after I had pushed him away.

Do you know what that’s like? Looking at the face of the person you care about and watching it go from caring to stone cold? I’m pretty sure you haven’t. Who would be dumb enough to push away the person they need? The person they really shouldn’t be pushing away? Obviously that award would go to me. I had successfully done just that.

I shoved my hand over my mouth to muffle the sob that broke free at the memory. All I could see in my head was the coldness of Beau’s eyes as he leapt from the chair. The way his voice had gone from soft southern, to hard unapproachable. Don’t think I didn’t notice the way he sneered at the people with their legs in his way, and how quick they reacted. They were all scared of him, and I could understand why. That is, if I didn’t know the person behind that anger.

“What did you do Genevieve?” I whispered to the metal door of the bathroom, “Why did you have to push him away?”

I knew I had to fix it. After all, I was the one that caused it. I could’ve simply answered Beau’s question. I really didn’t have to loose my patience with him, even after he assured me he wouldn’t tell anyone. Whenever you loose faith in people ever being trustworthy, it’s truly gone. That is of course, unless someone proves to you that not everyone is going to abuse your trust and hurt you. I was fairly certain Beau would not fall into the harming category.

Standing from the floor, I brushed the grime from the back of my thighs. There was no point crying over something I was determined to fix. However it wouldn’t be getting fixed until I knew Beau wasn’t angry anymore. The last thing I needed was for him to yell at me, even though I did technically deserve it.

 If there was one thing I hated the most; it was being yelled at. I literally stood there and burst into tears while they ranted. If I had to suffer through that from Beau, I’d do a lot more then bawl.