Sillage

the illusion of friendship

03.11.2017

The laughter died out and gradually we forgot what we were even laughing about. Secrets everyone knew about hung over the room. The silence didn't last though because deep down all of us were petrified to find out whether the silence was awkward or comfortable. A grin from one of us and another unforgettable memory which most of us have forgotten was recited.

As the night flew, the conversations shifted from memories to darker reflections. Views on the world and laments of our pasts. Feelings we never revealed and jokes we held back. Allowing us to get a glimpse of the people we have become, and realizing that we are just carrying a mirage of what we used to be.

Pictures clamored all over the internet of us faking smiles. I always thought of us as an escape, an escape from the deep aching pain. We were never friends in school; we were just people who used to have lunch together, or sit together for our boring History classes.

We became friends that night when we talked about things that really mattered. When we weren't gossiping about who kissed whom or who likes whom, but when we talked about what we thought of each other. When we pointed out flaws and all the imperfections, we thought we had. That's when we really became friends.

We realized after another hour of talking that we were different people. We had different views on things and each of us disliked at least one of us, but we still stayed up that night. We still talked about all the times we bunked a class and all the times we got away with not completing our homework. We still talked about that one embarrassing memory of me or that one awful essay one of our classmates wrote.

Because in spite of our differences, in spite of all our flaws we were once the best of friends. We have a history. Even if we now are nothing like our past selves, we still stay up for that one night and talk about the people we used to be and the years we were lucky enough to have.