When Scars Become Stars (on hold, sorry)

x you need a doctor baby, you scared? x

Follow me on tumblr and I'll follow back! Message me your wattpad name on tumblr, and I'll promote you on wattpad&tumblr!

3mmarawrs.tumblr.com/

***

"Cassie, what the fuck is happening?!"

"I dunno!" She panicked. "Maybe he's hallucinating! Maybe he thinks jeremy's here, I dunno! Call your dad!"

"No!" I cried.

"What? Why not?!"

"Because the Police already think Dad had something to do with Jeremy's death! If they find out he's fucking hallucinating, they're gonna think it's because of guilt!"

"But Alex, look at him!"

I turned to face my Dad. He was fighting. Luckily, he'd stopped with the physical fighting. Now he was just screaming. At think air. Which he mistook for his dead, rapist son.

"No! You hurt my son! You hurt him! What? No I never! I never did that! No! Stop lying! You're so fucking stupid! You're so fucking stupid! Alex, what the fuck are you still doing in here?! Would you LIKE to be raped again? Cause that's exactly what he'll do if you don't get the fuck out of here!"

"Dad there's no one fucking there!"

"Yes there is! The man who ruined your life!"

"No he's not there!"

"Yes he is! Look right there Alex! This is the sick, fucked up bastard that ruined your life!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Dad, YOU ruined my life!"

***

"I didn't mean it," I whispered. Cassie was in bed and I was talking to my Dad. After I screamed at him, he no longer paid attention to what he thought was Jeremy. He dropped everything and turned to me. Now we sat on his bed, awkwardly looking down.

"Of course you did,"

"No," I promised. "Dad I swear, I didn't-"

"Maybe you didn't mean it," he murmured. "But it's still true. I'm the reason you're life is such a mess. I'm the reason you have that scar. I'm the reason Jeremy hurt you,"

"What? No you're not,"

"I am Alex," he said quietly. "You don't know everything about mine and Jeremy's relationship. There was one thing neither of us told you,"

"If this is about the affiar then-"

"It's not about the affair, Alex." He came closer to me and stroked my hair. "It's not about the affair,"

"What is it then?"

"I can't," he whispered. "I can't tell you,"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid,"

"Of what?"

"Your reaction. I'm afraid you'll be mad, I'm afraid you'll disown me, I'm afraid of hurting you,"

"Dad," I whimpered; getting scared. "What happened?"

"You shouldn't be asking that," he shook his head. "No. You should be asking what i did to him,"

I shook, playing with my hands. "W-What dd you do to him?"

"Promise you wont hate me?"

I nodded. "I promise,"

Dad looked down. "I raped him Alex, I raped him,"

***

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF!"

"Alex please! You said he wouldn't hate me!"

"Yeah well that was before I knew you were a fucking rapist!"

"Rapist?" Cassie yawned, coming out of my room. "What's going on ALex?"

"Pack your stuff," I hissed. "We're getting the fuck out of here,"

"What? Why?"

"Because my fucked up excuse of a Dad raped Jeremy!"

Her eyes shot wide open. "What?"

"Alex you don't understand! You have to listen to me! Please just give me 5 minutes! 5 minutes!"

He grabbed my wrist and I flinched away.

"Please?"

Sighing, I nodded.

***

"Me and his Mom had just had a fight. She walked out, and I was alone with Jeremy. I started drinking. A lot. I can still remember everything though; everything I put him through. He was scared. He'd heard the fight, and wanted to know where his Mom was. He kept bugging me. Crying, trying to get me to stop drinking. He knew I was a band drunk but I didn't care. I just carried on. I was an alcaholic back then, that's why I try not to drink as much. But um, Jeremy took the alcahol and poured it all out. I was so pissed, I ended up beating him. And it just...it just happened.

"But you have no idea how much I regret it. I ruined his teenage years. I ruined everything. I ruined his life. And when I married your Mom and had you, he saw how good I was to you. I knew he was jealous but I never thought he would go that far...Alex I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Alex. I'm sorry!"

I stared at him, ignoring the tears in his eyes.

"Bye Dad," I said quietly before walking out the door.

***

"You need a doctor baby, you scared? You need a doctor baby, you scared?"

"Asking Alexandria?" Cassie asked. We were walking to hers, in our pjs. Yes, we were interesting children.

"I like them," I shrugged. "You don't,"

"How would you know?"

"You hate screamo,"

"Hate is a strong word," she sighed. "You ok?"

"Well i just found out that my Dad's the reason Jer was fucked up in the 1st place. I keep turning into a 10 year old version of myself and I'm walking 3 miles in my boxers. I'm fucking great,"

"Things will get better," she murmured.

"They fucking better,"

"They will," she smiled. "Do you wanna stay at my friends? It's just over there,"

"Aren't you embarrassed that you're gonna be seen with an emo boy?"

"No," she chuckled. "You're my boyfriend, I wanna show you off."

"Ok," I smiled a little and took her hand as we walked in the opposite direction towards a row of houses. "Hey Cassie?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you,"

She blushed. "I love you too emo boy,"

***

SORRY FOR LE LENGTH<3