This is hard as f***

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As it was the first day back at school after the break it was hard to see him so I just ignored him and try not to look at him. For a couple days we we only said a few words to one another as one day he msg me saying- it's awful is not talking and seeing you. And with that we said stuff to each other.

Diary entry #12
It was a while he msg me after school saying this is awful and how he just wants to hug me and stuff when he sees me as I told him I want to hug and make out with you every time I see you. With that we both know we still love each other even tho he did not see want to and me being confused and scared I just got to try and lie to my self even tho I love him with all my heart.

As a couple weeks past by I was talking to my friend lulu and she told me something that made me laugh and a bit of relief so I did not have to be as jealous about it.

Diary entry #13
My friend lulu told me the photo that luck told me about back when we first started dating of her sending a picture of her in a bra was not her. I was so relieved she told me she got a picture and send it to him and it not being her. he doesn't know it's so funny know I don't have to be jelly that she may have feelings for him or her you out with him ,because of that I don't have to be jealous cuz she don't like him the way I like him.

As time past I found my self staring at him as things started to go back to normal between me and luck. I was happy but it was hard cuz I care so much and love him so much not being able to call him mine. There where times I almost did but I stopped my self reminding my self we are not dating. He was messing with me as usual and as I call him a pain every time because I love him for being my pain.

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