LOST | KTH

22

I waited and waited, some time passed and his car stopped by the sidewalk. I walked out of the hate then entered his car. I sat in the passenger seat, he looked at me and waited to put on my seatbelt like he used to.

I bit my cheek, reminiscing our old memories as we used to. My breath grew shaky just thinking about us.

He just drove without saying a word, I looked at the window, passing by buildings, shops and gas stations. I didn't know where we were going and I honestly didn't care.

He parked the car by a school park, and turned his head to me, I could feel his eyes on me as I turned to look at him.

"I knew you wanted to continue this relationship." A grin curled onto his lips.

"N-no, that's not what I came to talk about. Jin I wanted to fix us, not relationship wise but at least getting us on good terms." I let out a breath, "We both did awful things to each other and I'm willing to forgive you if you're willing to forgive me."

He placed his hand on mine, "Of course, but I know in just a matter of time your feelings for me will grow back." His eyes stared onto mine.

"Jin, I-I have feelings for Taehyung..." His eyes grew darker and his jaw clenched.

"It always goes back to Taehyung, what do you see in that rascal?" Anger laced his tone, I felt fear running through my spine as I slyly leaned closer to the window.

"Jin, please I just want us to understand each other. I know if you really loved me you wouldn't have cheated on me but you did. I know you don't want our relationship again when you didn't feel anything. You just want to get back at Taehyung." I was afraid of what he was going to say.

"You know what, you're right. But I didn't have feelings for the other girl either. Even though you helped me with my addiction you do know that I would get back to it. You say that you hate me and you're angry but in hours time you just come back to me and ask to fix this?" He scoffed, turning to the front window.

"I just want to be on good terms, Jin. I was angry but I just realized that I would still want you as a positive part in my life, if you don't want that then just say the word." Words can't explain the feelings I was experiencing.

"I saw you as my girlfriend, you don't think it will hurt me when I see you with Taehyung?"

I grew confused, "Jin that's the thing. You didn't love me. You said so yourself, so if you don't love me then you wouldn't care."

"You keep saying the things I say when I'm drunk. I say some truth and then the rest was just out of anger, you expect me to just spill everything and not try to hurt you back? You really hurt me. You're dumb to think I didn't. If I didn't care I wouldn't spend nights feeling guilty and crying myself to sleep over what I did. I know I'm a bad person. I said the truth when I cheated on you, I lied when I said I didn't love you." He didn't lay his eyes on me after what he said.

I saw some truth as to what he said, it all connected. "That's why we can't be in a relationship Jin, first of all I have feelings for somebody else and second of all we both do things to each other that hurt us. It would just continue." I turned to look at him, he didn't look at me back.

"That's why I can't be on good terms with you. You were the one who fixed me and you just go around with this other guy, Chae I mean it when I say I love you. Every time I look at you it hurts, I know you feel the same. I want things to be the way they were, I want to show you that I can treat you better then I did before, I can treat you better then Taehyung could." His voice was calm, but he seemed broken.

"See, that's where you're wrong. Taehyung treated me better and I trust him more then you in the short amount of time he was here." I stated, now I just want to be with Taehyung.

"Okay, fine. Taehyung treats you better. But I'm saying the word by saying I don't want to be on good terms with you, it's not that I don't want to; I don't have enough power to not act up when I see you with him." After he spoke, he let out a deep breath. "We've concluded this. We're staying out of each other's way from now on. I'm driving you home."

I nodded, I don't want to argue with him because I knew he was right. For the rest of the ride, I just tried to think less about Jin and more about Taehyung.

The text didn't mean anything to me now, Jin and I have settled our situation. As I almost was by my apartment I spoke up.

"Tell Lee Wendy to stay away from me, tell her to stop trying to sabotage me. Just as a final favour as we're strangers now."  I stared out the window as I spoke.

"Did she do something?" He questioned, keeping his eye on the road as he spoke. "I'll talk to her."

I thanked him before I left, finally. Taehyung and I could finally be together.