Beautiful Memories • Carl Grimes

Chapter 7

*Trigger Warning: This Chapter Contains Graphic Details of Violence and Sexual Assault.*
I'll give a warning before it starts to get bad.

Carl's POV

I catch myself in a dream about monsters and angels. All my dreams consist of darkness or chaos. Calling them dreams doesn't even seem right. They're nightmares. I'm all too familiar with them. The running away from whatever's chasing me, the screaming, the violence, the death of someone I care about, the death of me.

I call out down the vacant road, hearing my voice bounce back as I yell for help. There's blood covering my hands and my shirt. I don't know who it came from, but I do know that I'm in frantic need of someone.

The snow is up to my knees, making my legs feel like they could snap off at any second. It's dark, and there's a blizzard, something extremely rare in the state that we live in. It's beyond difficult to see passed the thick snowflakes that fall angrily around me.

I hear voices behind me and in front of me, beckoning me forward and pleading for me to stay behind. The voices in front of me are distinct and cold, I recognize one of them as Enid, my ex girlfriend.

"You know what you did to me, Carl. You deserve this. You deserve it!" she screams and it sounds like it's right in my ear.

"Don't listen! Carl, ignore it!" Someone from behind me begs, their voice soft and desperate. I slow my pursuit.

"Kate?" I can't hear my own voice over the horrendous volume of the others.

"Always running off. Always disappointing everyone," My dad's voice booms.

"Rebellion and tragedy is all you know, isn't it!"

"You're good for nothing."

"Ignore it! Please, Carl!"

"You know what you did to me. It's all your fault!"

"Sophia doesn't deserve someone like you."

"Fuck you. Fuck you!"

"Stop it!" I cry, throwing my hands up to cover my ears. The voices are too loud. They overpower my thoughts, forcing their way into my head. "Stop it! Stop it!"

All the voices fade except for one. It's cold and menacing, laced with deceit. I can hear it clear as day as if it's being spoke directly into both ears. It's Lori, my mother.

"The blood is on your hands, Carl. It's all your fault."

I gasp violently, jolting upright in bed and covering my ears with shaky hands. Silence floods the room, making me calm myself enough to catch my breath.

I lower my arms, thinking long and hard about the lucid dream. The room has darkened since I fell asleep and out the window I see light snowfall and branches blowing with the wind. Downstairs, forks and spoons can be heard clanking against bowls and plates. Laughter and muffled conversations drown out my terrified thoughts.

I clear my throat, standing up out of bed to notice that Sophia is gone. My hands flatten my blue t-shirt over my chest, still vibrating with horror.

After I've made myself decent, I decide to leave my hat by the nightstand and grumpily make my way out of the room and down the steps. The laughter continues once I'm in sight and no one cares to acknowledge my presence. They're all sitting at the large dining room table, munching on venison and ham followed by multiple canned goods poured into bowls.

I stand there for a moment and take it all in. When nothing changes, I shuffle to the open seat next to Sophia. My fingers brush through my hair anxiously before I look up to meet the eyes of the person across from me.