The Flames That Brought Us To The Edge

The Flames

I am 14 years old.

I don't have a high intellectual level.

I don't speak well. I tend to screw up.

I have friends. They care, love, FRIEND me.

I am not like any other teenager you see in your school. I got diagnosed with a disease that split the once happy me into half. Well, you might think that i have accepted fully that it is accidental fate, or something god wanted to give me as a gift. Here, i am going to tell you - yes...yes i have. It wasn't so easy to accept. I had to reach a certain extreme to be able to do that.

In this book, I will gradually reveal what's it like to not only reach the Extreme but also how you can also do it too.

THE FLAMES

I believe that none of you readers wake up everyday and know what is going to come at your way. I can assure to you that none of you have ever woken up and knew that you will crying, falling, hiding away from whatever is frightening. In fact, nobody can...including me.

Yes, you can wake up to a to-do list and take note of the important things you have to complete or accomplish. Yes, you can have your friends and family members constantly calling you and reminding you of what's BIG coming your way and how you can either prevent or preserve it. Unfortunately, if you realise, not only your to-do list but also you the people around cannot predict the tough, painful times that will come your way.

Nobody warned me of Diabetes. Nobody told me that i will end up failing my exams despite my constant perseverance in revising and practising. Nobody told me that i had to hit the Extreme to overcome all my challenges altogether.

I took 3 months to hit the Extreme.

On the 10th of July, I was admitted into the hospital to then getting diagnosed with diabetes. From that day onwards, something sparked up in me.

Oh right. Before i reveal it all to you, i shall explain what is my so called " Extreme ".

The Extreme is what i call the forever action whereby you don't just touch a flame once but is then willing to touch it again. Bravery, ah yes, that's what it is.

Let's get back to my SECRET

Getting crushed by pure pressure...Getting stressed out by both health and education problems made me do by far the weirdest thing ever.

If you are familiar with Dear Evan Hansen, i sort of became him. I would always frequently look outside my window and ask myself what have i done to deserve all that torture. Sometimes, i would ask this same question again and again till i am satisfied, " so gwen, what will you be doing today? " . I would answer to myself surprisingly. 

Not only did Evan look out the window and sing and speak to himself, but he also wrote to himself all day.

The last letter, on the day i touched  the Extreme, i wrote: dear myself, this shall be the last of all that stupid pile of paper that you will be writing to yourself. Just be yourself today, you will be happy. 

Touching the Extreme felt so great. I was able to speak properly, with confidence to my seniors and friends. I was not any bit afraid of the painful injections. I was ready to receive the various hurtful criticism of those who don't understand the ill. I was finally ready to accept myself for who i am. 

These few hundred words, badly written message, may seem very simple and easy for you to accomplish. Hmmm, maybe it is. But you must remember, as long as you believed in yourself, BE WHO YOU ARE, nothing too big or too small can hurt the ever so wonderful you.

THE END.