Ms. Alone and Mr. Lonely

two

(unedited)

"But if you can't take me at my worst,
You don't deserve me at my best."
—At My Best, Machine Gun Kelly ft. Hailee Steinfeld

*~*

     "What the fuck are you wearing?"

     "Clothes, obviously." Justine rolled her eyes at Kristen's question. She took a glance at herself as she shrugged at her choice of clothing: a baby pink cropped hoodie, black high-waisted bermuda shorts that ended above her knees, and white sneakers. She would usually just throw on a hoodie or plain loose tee-shirt tucked in some highwaisted jeans but today, she wore shorts as she had a feeling that the party would make her thighs sweat because of the crowd. Plus, she was conscious of her physical image and baggy clothes would help hide those flaws that she wanted no one to have a glimpse of.

     "No," she looked at Justine as she shook her head slowly, "no, no, no." She frowned. "You are not going to the party looking like that. It's like you're going to school!"

     "First of all, I didn't want to go to this party," Justine started. "And second, if you will make me wear something else, I will assure you that my hands will wring your neck in no second." She threatened.

     "Just let her be, Kris." Sam tapped her shoulder as she gave them an amused smile. "Besides, she's there trying to enjoy her life. Unlike you to get laid." She snickered.

     "Fine," Kristen forfeited. "But next time, I will style you up that even the ladies will fall head-over-heels for you," She narrowed her eyes playfully at Justine.

     "As if that would happen."

     Justine headed over to Erin's bed as she fiddled with her phone. They were currently at Erin's house to doll up. Sam was wearing a denim off-shoulder romper paired up with the same white sneakers as her's; Kristen, the opposite of her, was wearing a fitting strapped cocktail dress that hugged her curves perfectly; Erin had on a ribbed dress despite the urge to wear the same revealing clothing as Kristen's (Mason was being protective, as usual), while Jamie wore a striped-knot top with high-waisted jeans.

     Looking at them all glamoured and styled made her insecure and belittle herself; of course she also wanted to become as stylish as them, but she couldn't afford the type of clothing they had. Besides, she was not gifted with a sense of fashion. In the end, despite wanting to try new types of clothing, she would end up any conserved top and some jeans. It was her signature look of bland and boring.

     Somehow, she suddenly felt sick and afraid; what if the people there would think her choice of clothing is so lame? Will they throw looks of disgust in her way? Will she be isolated from the party? God, why did she even agree to come in the first place?

     She hugged herself as she took long, ragged breaths; she hated being constantly anxious of the public. Why couldn't she just refused their offer? She felt someone stroking her hair as she looked up and saw Jamie. Her comforting gesture made her worries slowly dissipate. Clouding her mind with positive thoughts, she began to smile. It was just one night; one night of escape from reality, one night to hang out with her friends, one night socializing, and one night to act normal for once. Besides, she wasn't gonna smoke or drink anything. Just an angst person in the middle of the crowd.

     As everyone was busy loading their faces with makeup, they heard the doorbell ring which made Erin shriek. All of them were pampered while she was raw and untouched. She wasn't against cosmetics, but she was extra vigilant of her skin since it was frustratingly sensitive as hell and she had spent every penny and dime to achieve a smooth and bump-free face.