HO BOI, Here we go.

Coming out

Ya.
So if you haven't realized already, the LGBTQ+ community is a big part of my life.
I realize what other people say.
"Your finding yourself."
"It'll pass."
"It's just a phase."
But, I don't know for me.

I've struggled with my sexuality and gender for as long as I can remember.
I've hated my name, pronouns, body, and my self in general.
I've never felt comfortable with who I was, and I thought that was bad.
I thought I was fucked up. That I had no reason to live.

Turns out, I was only partly right.
I am fucked up.
Not because my gender, or my sexuality.
I've lived a lie my whole life, and I still don't know the truth.

Am I a guy?
Am I a girl?
Is this my name?
Is that my name?

He, him?
She, her?

I don't know anymore.
I use to have a grasp on reality.
Use to know who I was, but those days are gone.

I've left the only people who could help me, and now I'm alone.
but your probably wondering why I titled this like I did.

Well here it is.
I'm coming out to my extremely trasnphobic mother this weekend.
I'll get kicked out, I know I will.
No one will accept me.

I'm a fucked up piece of shit, that has nothing going for them.
No one will ever understand me, even if I tell them.

People don't know how to listen right.
Don't know how to heal the wounds with more than words.

I'm a confused person, i'll admit, but one thing is this.
I may not know who I am.
I may hate who I am.
But I'll stick who who I am.
Weather I'm a guy.
Weather I'm straight, or gay.
I'll be this person, cause it's all I can be.
All I'll ever be.