Privilege

Chapter 20

Niall feels a dread like smoldering black embers right in the pit of his stomach. He knows the sensation well. Used to feel it every day after school as he approached his house in Crystalmont, Pennsylvania, not knowing what might be going on inside. Never knowing in what condition he might find his mother. Passed out with a bottle of pills spilled on the floor? Manically cleaning the kitchen in her pajamas? Angrily waiting to scold him for something he hadn't done? Yes, he knows dread all too well.

It is Sunday afternoon after the thanksgiving holidays. Exactly a week and a day since the disastrous fundraiser. Not only had he lost all his friends and all the respect after someone leaked two videos of him getting a 'little' too close to Zayn and Harry who both are in relationship, he also came to the scary realization that someone is really out to get him, and know that he no longer is in Louis’ good graces, one could say he is a pretty easy target.

“You okay there, Ni?” Greg asks him as they pull through the gates of Prescott academy. His older brother turns to look at him with concerned grey-blue eyes and Niall swallows, managing a small shaky smile.

“Good,” he replies. He knows that Greg knows he's lying, but the thing that Niall has always loved about Greg is that he never pushes Niall to talk.

Niall hadn’t wanted to go home after Louis had literally thrown him out of the fundraiser, and since Greg conveniently enough lived just in the outskirts of New York, he’d went to him instead and spent thanksgiving with Greg and his college friends; who are all a nice bunch, who went out of their way to make Niall feel welcome - like one of them rather than their buddy's little brother. Greg has been thoughtful enough not to ask Niall anything, and Niall is forever grateful. Originally, Niall had been invited by half the dorm to spend thanksgiving with them, Harry had offered him to fly with him to LA where he’d be spending thanksgiving with his celebrity friends, Liam had offered Niall to come and spent thanksgiving with his family in Seattle while Zayn had insisted he came with him all the way to Dubai but Niall had chosen to spend it with Louis in New York, but given the events that went down, he was sure Louis’ offer didn’t stand.

Greg’s car pulls into the parking lot and Niall’s heartbeat is already escalating. He struggles out of the car with his backpack, duffel bag, and laptop. It is frigid outside, and a cold wind whips through the trees along the drive. Niall had expected the campus to feel more alive since all the students are supposed to be returning from break, but it's nearly empty except a couple of girls chatting in front of the girls' freshmen dorm.

“You should visit more often,” Greg says as he climbs off the car, walking around to Niall to say goodbye. Niall manages a small smile, thinking that he is probably going to need a break from school a lot more know. “Yeah.” He nods. He says his goodbyes to Greg and watches as he gets back into the car and drives away. Niall feels cold. Cold and alone. He slowly makes his way through campus and when he walks around the fountain, he looks up at the largest dorm on campus, Privilege House, looming in the distance. Instantly, the embers of dread burns brighter.

He hasn’t seen any of them since the fundraiser - Louis, Liam and Zayn - and he hadn’t seen Harry at the fundraiser at all. Niall wonders if Harry came after Louis threw Niall out and how awkward it most have been for him. Niall can just imagine him walking through the doors - all pretty curls and charming smile - ready to join the party only for the whole place to fall silent and everyone turning to stare at him. Niall wonders if Harry and Louis are still together; he hopes. He would die if he is the reason for their breakup.

Halfway across the snow-covered quad, lit only by the quaint, ground-level lamps lining the pathways, Niall stops and takes a deep breath to steel himself. He is going to march into Privilege House and he is going to make Louis listen to him. He doesn’t care if he has to scream the whole apology to him through his closed dorm-room door. He is going to hear his side.