Infinitude.

2

I dashed out of the building and into the rain, still hearing the faint but prevalent music inside. I could feel my feet still rumbling by the bass. In just a few seconds, my black, depressive shirt was already drenched in water.

I placed my hand on my chest. My heart was still rushing at an irregular rate. So many thoughts were spiraling through my mind. I tried to collect myself again.

You fucked up big. You really fucked up this time. I thought.

Suddenly, the music ceased inside the building. A brief applause was released from the audience.

"Plat!" I heard coming from the venue. Loud footsteps clapped onto the soaked streets toward me.

I knew it was Daniel. I stayed in the position I was in, refusing to face him.

"What was that all about?" he asked, "You got social anxiety or something?"

I stuttered my words a bit before answering. "I-I'm not used to people looking at me."

"We-hell, no shit." he laughed, "You scurried off like a fly to the swatter."

He paused a bit, noticing my still, silent reaction.

"It was nice meeting you, Dan." I muttered under my breath, "But I don't belong here." I turned to him slowly, the golden moon reflecting off my eyes.

"Nonsense." he shook, "You
don't need to assign yourself to a place. I think you fit fine in here." He stopped for a little bit. "I mean, you are kinda cute..."

I widened my eyes. "Wait, you're gay?" I asked.

"Was it not obvious by my attitude?" he chuckled, "If I was straight, I would've never waddled up towards someone like you in the first place."

"I'm Bi." he said, "Sometimes I got girls, sometimes I got boys. It was all the same. No relationship o'mine lasted over 2 months."

Dan walked up to me, grasping my hands. "Wanna go to sleep with me?" he asked. He fluttered his eyes sultrily.

I slipped my hands from his grasp, taking a step back. "I-I can't."
"Why not?"
"I just can't. I have a job I have to go to. Besides, I've never done something like that so... suddenly. Especially with a man."
He placed his palm on my heart. "Well, existing is to take risks and make mistakes." he spoke soothingly, "Even if you won't be here tomorrow, I'll wait for you. Wanna try just once?"

We ended up in his small townhouse by the seaside on a hill. We walked up the porch, and inside where there was a living room then a kitchen. He showed me into his bedroom. The bright blue curtains were gliding up and down gently, letting a little bit of moonlight seep into the crevices where the curtains never covered. They looked as if they were reenacting an ocean wave.

Dan closed the door, and threw his shirt, shoes, and socks off onto the floor. I stared silently at him, not knowing what he may do next. I assumed he might tackle me into the bed and then... what next?

"Well, I took off my stuff," he said impatiently, "Your turn."

Slowly and carefully, I took off each piece of clothing: shoes, socks, then shirt. Daniel observed me carefully.

"Damn. I can't fathom why you keep your skin under that huge shirt." he complemented, "You look pretty hot."

"What are you planning to do now?" I asked. I grinded my teeth on my lip out of nervousness.

He stepped up to me, and flipped my hair out of my right eye. "Well," he whispered, "we can start with a kiss..."

Closing in on my face, he grabbed my hips, and landed  a small, quick peck on the cheek.

Then I kissed back on the lips.

Suddenly, he grabbed my cheeks, and kissed me again, but this time with more force. Dan grappled my shoulders and forced me down onto the bed, my body slamming on his.

My mind lay as blank as the sheets themselves. Half of me felt uncomfortable, and the other felt only desire; to continue on this new journey with a man I had known only for the past three hours. I felt like someone I would've only seen behind the TV screen; a sex addict, or a male prostitute.

As we tumbled and barreled and kissed over one another, staring into each other's gorgeous eyes, I could only think of how much I would miss him at dawn, and if I'd ever see him again.

After about an hour, we ceased our aggressive sexual play. I rested my head on his bare chest, staring out at the window to the night sea, while he stared blankly toward the ceiling.

"Dan?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Since when did you learn you liked boys?"
"Heh, good question." he rolled over, and I crawled back to my side of the bed. He let out a big sigh. "I always knew I liked men, even when my parents pushed me toward a woman they thought I'd like. Women were fine, but something about dudes always fascinated me even when I was little." he said, "I don't know how you know you like a type of person, they just... your heart just kinda gravitates towards them."

Dan crawled towards me carefully, then gave me a blank stare.

"Now I'm gonna ask you a  question." he said, "How did you get your name? I've never heard a name like that before."
"Well," I said, "There was this girl I liked named Hanna. She was a coworker, and I was her only friend. She always seemed super depressed all the time. Sometimes she'd talk to me about running into the middle of the highway road like it was a casual conversation."

I paused, then rolled my head from the right of the pillow to the left. I stared at a painted picture on the wall, depicting a flock of seagulls waddling and floating above the seashore.

"Then one day, outside of the supermarket after work, she handed me a slip of paper, and before I opened it, she simply said 'I'm done.' and then rushed to her car and drove away. I thought she meant something like being done with talking to me. I never expected the the worst to happen."

I spoke with a deepening depressive tone. "I read the note, and it was a poem, and along the lines she said how she admired my silver-dyed hair, and that it highlighted my kind personality. She told me she was never coming back -- not to work, not to me, not to the world. The next day she committed suicide. Shoved a knife into her trachea. Docs pronounced her dead after 20 minutes." I shed a tear, wiping it off quickly before Dan saw me.

I have to look tough. I thought. Nonathat crying bullshit.

"Is that why you came to visit here?" he asked.

I ignored his question, and moved toward him and glanced at him determinedly. "Are you sure you'll find me tomorrow?" I asked.
"Long as you show up. I might have other things to do around the city, so don't come back expecting me to be right next to you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."