"Do you want to talk about it?" Helio asks after I've been in the car for about five minutes.
"The only thing I want to talk about is that ridiculous outfit," I tell him with a grin.
"You wanted me here quick. I sleep in my underwear so I just grabbed some clothes."
I look over his outfit again. Helio has no shirt, but he has basketball shorts on that are way too small. The only shoes on his feet are ridiculous ostrich slippers. I stifle a laugh then shake my head.
"Are those Ambrose's shorts?" I ask, looking at him.
"I think, but they were with my clothes. The only laundry room we have separates our apartments and our clothes get mixed up all the time, but the slippers are mine."
"I like them. Ostriches are cute." I smile at him.
"I know! People think they're ugly and stupid, but I love them like a lot." He glances at me and I nod.
"I think they're beautiful, elegant creatures."
"Me too." We arrive at his apartment and my heart beats a bit faster.
"Thanks for this. I'll explain when we get upstairs." I tell him as I get out.
"You don't have to. Most people don't pack up everything they own unless there's a reason why and I'm sure your reason isn't a good thing." He grabs my suitcase before I can.
"No, no. I trust you even if I haven't know you for long."
"I have that effect on people." He grins boyishly as he unlocks the door.
"I agree with you on that one." I watch as he locks the door then we head upstairs.
"I'm gonna make us some coffee. I have a feeling we're gonna be up late."
Helio does just that and I watch him, preparing myself. I know this could be a bad idea. I know that his opinion on me might change, but I need to talk to someone. I've never talked to anyone, not even the many shrinks that I've been sent to. I'm not comfortable with them, I don't trust them, but I do trust Helio . . I'll always trust him.
"I hope you like your coffee black. I'm low on everything and need to run to the store tomorrow." He tells me as he brings two mugs over.
"Yeah, it's fine." I take it from him as he sits down.
"I know this is gonna be difficult, but I'm going to listen and try to make you feel better." He looks at me seriously.
"Thanks. I really appreciate all that you're doing for me." I give him a thankful look.
"It's no problem . . and remember you can stop whenever you want."
I nod then take a sip of my coffee, the warmth of it makes me feel better. I look at Helio once more before I begin to talk. He nods, encouraging me and letting me know that he's here for me. I think that's all it takes for me to tell him every single thing that's ever happened to me. Once I start, I can't stop and it feels good like I've lifted a giant weight off my chest. It feels like all the tension, stress, and hate leaves my body.
I tell Helio about my first four years of my life slowly, but then I'm a broken water spigot. Words spill out more and more, tears slide down my face, and coffee becomes a coping mechanism. He listens, nodding and helping me through my past. He doesn't judge, he doesn't look disgusted which makes this easier. I keep telling myself that this is needed to keep calm.
It gets more difficult when I explain the prostitution, the sex abuse, and what it did to me. I stumble through it all, but I get through it. Helio looks angry and upset the whole time, but he doesn't say much. Tears form in both our eyes, sadness clouding our expressions. Then it's over and I realize that it's almost four forty in the morning.
"Fuck, Luna. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all that, but I'm glad you've made it." He pulls me in for a hug and I sob on his shoulder as he rubs my back.
"I hate how you have to know all this, but it makes me feel happier in a twisted way." I explain, pulling away from him.
"You've never talked to anyone about it. It makes sense." He grins, warmly and I sigh.
"I couldn't talk to anyone, they'd literally put that on my record."
"Well it's a good thing that I'm just a regular human being who isn't required to report it."
"I guess so." A smile stretches across my lips.
"We'll make your bed then we'll get some sleep, okay?"
☼☾☼
"Hello?" I answer groggily.
"Luna, where the hell are you?!" Kira yells into my phone.
"Helio's, this is your boyfriend's fault." I reply, sitting up.
"He said you came onto him and you got angry then ran off when he pushed you off." She angrily tells me.
"That's a goddamned lie! He came onto me, I swear!" I exclaim.
"They said you would be trouble. They said you'd be a bad person to bring into my life. I should of listened." I hear her mutter, she's speaking to herself more than me.
"You probably should have!" I hang up and lay back down, curling up in a ball.
"Hey, c'mere." Helio is beside me within seconds and I hug him tightly as I cry yet again. He's going to have to get used to this.
"I'm such a disgrace. I'm a mess. I'm worthless. I'm useless. I'm ugly. I'm an idiot.'' I ramble on, calling myself every single insult I can think of.
"Are you done?" Helio looks at me when I finally stop.
"I think so."
"Good . . because I don't think you are any of those things. You're real, that's all that matters. A lot of girls aren't, but you are and that's what should make you happy."
"Whatever, I'll hopefully believe you someday."
"I know." He pauses to look at me, "I was going to make breakfast for us, but I have nothing so we're going shopping."
"Okie dokie."
I get dressed quickly as Helio makes a list. I add some things to it when I get done then we head to the store. We get there and split up to save time. I soon regret that decision when I run into someone I don't want to see.
