famous // phan au

3 ; p

My eyes skim over my reflection in the mirror, keen to find any imperfection and convince myself it's acceptable until I see myself as perfect. It doesn't work. I should know, I do this every night. I still see myself as a little bit too chubby and not quite handsome enough. (A/N this physically hurt me to write)

I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of this feeling of self hatred as I hear my phone ringing. I pick it up and frown when I see it's my manager. He never calls me at this time of night, something must be wrong.

"Hey Josh, what's up?"

"You are going to love me so much Phil"

"If you mean you got me a gig, you're right, I do love you"

"So much better than that"

"I don't know if that's possible, but go on", I chuckle.

"You know who Daniel Howell is right?"

"Uh, yeah, he's that pop star guy right? Why?"

"Well apparently he watched one of your videos, and now he wants you to open for him on his next world tour"

"Are you serious?", I say, sitting up straighter in my chair as I feel my heart rate pick up.

"Yeah! Apparently they had someone else opening for him but they cancelled last minute, some big family emergency or something. Anyway, the tour starts in a couple of days. In L.A"

I feel my heart sink a little. If it was in the country sure, even within Europe I'm sure I could somehow manage, but L.A? No way I could save enough money in time.

"L.A? Josh I could never afford a flight to L.A, especially not with a couple days notice"

"It's all expenses paid! You don't have to worry about anything Phil, flights, accommodation, food, it's all paid for! All you have to do is pack your bags, and find your passport. Oh and by the way the tour goes for 6 months so i'd pack lots of underwear if I was you".

"Oh my god if this is a joke I'm going to murder you"

"It's not, I promise!"

"You're the best manager in the world oh my god"

"I know right?", He laughs, obviously just as excited as I am. "So.. Are you in?"

"Are you kidding, of course i'm in!"

"I'll just need you to come down to my office tomorrow to sign a few things"

"Ok see you tomorrow, thank you so so so much",

"Start packing kid, you're gonna be a star!", he jokes dramatically, hanging up.

I walk out of the bathroom with my phone held to my chest, and the biggest smile on my face. I crouch down and pull my suitcase out from under my bed, before starting to toss in bits of clothing.

Eventually though I give up on packing, deciding it'll be easier in the morning when i'm not so tired. My mind wanders as I lay awake in bed, I still don't really believe that this is happening, and I doubt I will until it's happening. I have no idea what i'll wear onstage, maybe they'll tell me what to wear. I wonder what Daniel's like, hopefully he's nice. Slowly, I drift off to sleep with a million unanswered questions buzzing around in my head. But one, louder than any other question.

Is this it?

God, I hope so.

♡♡♡

hello my children

i hope u all had a v merry christmas + spent it w people u love ♡

also sorry for this chapter ik it kinda sucks ass im tired ok