Lonely Hearts Club

I was born on the eclipse, maybe that's why I enjoyed the darkness so much. There was something that I loved about the night time, something unexplainable, I think it ran through my veins. It's so comforting. I know it shouln't be. I know it's supposed to be when the killers, mass murderers, rapists come out, but for me it tells a story that something the day time could never do.

I can't help but wonder who else feels this way. There is a curiousity for me to find out that I'm not on my own in things. I like it when people get there heartbroken, it shows they're real and have emotion. They know how to feel and they know what it's like to stop breathing at 3am and want to not be alive any longer. 

                           I sit with these girls at lunch, I'm not completely sure why I do it. I laugh at what they say, although it feels like when I laugh I'm just sitting there frowning. I might as well. I want the weekend to hurry up, I've been invited to a party and I'm actually really looking forward to it, and I never look forward to anything, my weekends usually consised of sitting at home, watching Gossip Girl and occasionally smoking, by myself. Although my mum had less of a social life than me so I always had to be very careful. As I smacked away at the buttons on my screen, finding out the details for Saturday night, everyone talked over everyone, you couldn't hear anything unless you focused. I smiled to let them know I was listening while texting. 

I left out the school gates and slowly walked home, pacing myself to the beat of the music, and I thought, I thought about Saturday and what actually happens at parties. What do I wear? Do I bring alcohol? I can't even get alcohol? I'm only 16? Will I sleep there? Am I even invited? 

I hadn't even asked my mum yet. As I walked through the door and ran up to my bedroom I literally just collaped. I sighed and fell asleep pretty quickly after that, probably for the first time in weeks as I had not had a good night sleep for a while now.  When I woke up, I had 12 missed calls. All from Zoe. She sent me 3 texts too so I decided just to text her, and not bother ringing her back, epecially when I saw the time was 2am, although I knew she would be awake. 

(1) are you busy saturday night?

(2) No. I'm guessing you're not. There is this gathering, not too far from mine, if you wanna come? It's gonna be okay.. My friend Jasper is hosting and asked me to invite a few people, get back to me soon!!

(3) Okay come on, you're always on your phone, you have to of seen this.

(4) Last chance, get back to me by morning, or I'm gonna invite someone else. 

I was going to a party, for the first time, I wouldn't ditch it for some random guys gathering. I told her I couldn't and went back to sleep. 

I woke back up at 11am and there was no one in the house. I went downstairs and got a pack of crisps then went back up to my room, I was not feeling the day at all.. I sighed and went on Tumblr, such a typical white girl.. right? I checked my phone and Zoe sounded quite annoyed, she would get over it though, she gets over her moods so quickly. That's a good thing and a bad thing.. I haven't even known her that long, I think I've known her for about a month now, we met at this guys gathering, where I got drunk, fell out with everyone, nearly had to leave, made a boy cry. Zoe sort o fjust sat there, which was weird for her, she says it was because she didn't know anyone there.

There was another text from Beth, the girl who I was going to the party with, she told me that the party was about 10 minutes from Zoe's house, I just quickly replied as I went downstairs to go and get the dress I was wearing tonight. It was dark blue and had a white collar and it was velvet. It only came the other day so I quickly tried it on, and ended up wearing it the whole day. 

My mum came home around 5 and I told her I was sleeping round Bethans. "That's fine, wearing that though?" She asked me.

"Yes mum.. Wearing this." I replied before shutting my door. I had an hour to get ready, walk to Bethan's and then go to the party..

After an hour of running around the house trying ot find missing shoes, necklaces, lipstick, everything you could ever imagine I was finally ready to go. I had been looking for this for too long now, so much anticipation built up, I walked to Bethan's and we left, "Where did you say you were sleeping?" I asked her, wondering where her mum thought she was sleeping.

"Yours." She replied, waving down the bus. 

"Same." I replied. Before I knew it we were there, standing outside the house, this is the first party we had both been to, it was weird. We knocked on the door and were greeted by some random people we didn't know, so we just smiled politely and walked in. No one we knew was there, so we just took a seat on a leather sofa next to two boys who looked much older and were sitting there showing one another pictures on there phones. We talked amongst each other about just about anything that we could think of. Slowly the conversation died out and we decided to go and explore the house, we went from room to room, seeing if we could find anything of intrest, but everyone and just about everything in that house was really boring. We went back into the lounge to find out our seats had been taken by two girls who were crouding around the boys as much as they possibly could. 

"Hey, didn't you say Zoe's friend was having a gathering that was pretty close to here?" Bethan asked me, sighing as she was just as bored as me.

"Yeah I did, but I think I might've just about got us uninvited to that as I said I was busy and she didn't take it very well." I replied, trying to say as much as possible so we looked engaged in coversation. 

"Oh right. You could ask her if we could go to that? This is so boring and nobody we know is even here!" She exclaimed, making people look at us. I sighed and rang Zoe.

Hey Zoe, are you at that gathering?

Yeah I'm there now!! Do you wanna come? Not that many people are here and everyone is being bitchy and weird

Yeah!! Would that be okay? We don't know how to get there, could someone come and meet us outside yours or something? 

Alex will, I'll get him to leave now. See you later!

I hung up and told Bethan the plan, we grabbed our bags and left, probably the most boring thing we had ever been to. We sat outside Zoe's house and waited for Alex. Alex was this boy, I liked him for a while, I have never kissed him, or anything like that, or we never even met on our own, he is just extreamely attractive. He had these big blue eyes and he wore these square glasses over them, messy brown hair and on top of that he sings and plays the guitiar. 

Alex came around the corner and greeted us, we smiled at him and said hey. We started walking along the road, making light conversation and we got there in about 15 minutes, I didn't know where on earth we were, but the street looked in no way fimilar. It just looked like a really normal house, we walked in and Elisha and Zoe hugged us and I stayed with Elisha for a bit while Bethan and Zoe went upstairs to go and get me a drink.  I sat down with Elisha and we both shared a chair, she knew everyone there and i knew literally no one, and I didn't plan on either as I hardly spoke to them, then I just drank and drank. This Jasper kid had a lot of alcohol and about 2 hours into the gathering and I still hadn't even met him. Neither had I went upstairs yet and I assumed that was where this 'Jasper' kid was. So I walked up the stairs unknowingly walking into the bathroom where Zoe was crying surrounded by about 5 girls all asking her what the matter was, I joined in, she told us that Jasper's girlfriend, Lisa, called Zoe ugly earlier, and I didn't know who this girl was, there was literally about 7 girls downstairs and I knew 1 of them, she told me what she looked like and I didn't have a clue.

We walked down the stairs and then Lisa passed us. I didn't even know it was her until I walked past and Zoe told me it was her, I turned around but she had already turned the corner to a bedroom, who I had assumed was Jaspers. I carried on walking down the stairs and just sat on the sofa with Elisha and Alex. There was something weirdly comforting about this home, I don't know what it was, it just made you feel at home.