Sorry Momma!

Part 3

"You can do this... " my mind consistently kept reminding me. I knew I could for sure. I knew I had this... I knew I could calm my nerves. Or rather... I thought I knew I could calm my nerves. I had forgotten how weak my heart was. How weak it is...

I had to excuse myself to the washrooms. That was when Hell broke loose. Little did I step into the washroom than tears filled my eyes. I had to let them drop... I could feel them burn down the cheek. Damn, I had missed this feeling. I could feel my heart sigh. It was at peace I believe. Or was it breaking down slowly?

All I could ever think of are those bad things that have been happening to me... All those times my heart has been broken... Were these tears accumulating? "Pour it out girl... Let it all out..." The Inner Peace softly consoled. "Is it because am weak? Or am I...." I decided to have a conversation with it. "No hunny. You so strong. Just let out the pain... All the bad things that have happened... Let them all out." it interjected.

I couldn't tell how long I took in the washrooms. All that time trying to compose myself to face the world again. My eyes were already swollen... I could feel it... I washed the tears off my face... Forced a smile as I left the washrooms.

Walked off to the fields... Took my favourite spot... Got out my cellphone, plugged in my earphones and there it was... My favourite playlist. My heart sunk. Only if he was around to cheer me up... I missed his voice... I missed his sweet words. His endless jokes. Yes he was perfectly perfect to me.

I looked at his picture on my wallpaper... "I miss you... Please come back... I need you so much..." I cried.

Yes I really missed him... His bold smile... The sharp eyes and the consoling voice. That was all I needed right now. That was what mother needed more... Raised my eyes to the sky and whispered...

"I love you Dad..."