Sorry Momma!

Part 1

How can I attend two masters at ago???
In my forth form, a high school student, almost two months to sit for my first paper.... The end year examination. Too much things to cater for but got less time. All I think of is how it all happened. It's like a nightmare to me. I can't believe it... no not now... not again... not never... am too young for all this.

Have been brave enough to languish in this agony for the last three months since my dad passed on. It was so painful... painful indeed losing the family's breadwinner, the fatherly love and care... Miss you dad. R.I.P.

My mum was unable to bear all this in her heart. She developed a heart problem. It's became so delicate that I fear telling her the truth about my condition. She may join dad too... But should I keep it to myself?? What if she finds out at the end of it all?? Am in snarl up.

He actually came to me as a consolation for my dad's loss. He gave me new hope when I was losing it. He gave me reasons to smile despite the loss. He appeared as the morning sun that gives a sense of a new day.... He brightened my nights and took away all the darkness. He gave me a reason to live with a dream of a smart life thereafter. He showered me love... the love I was missing... the love I anticipated for... the love I needed... I didn't know what I was missing until I got it, Jack's love.

This cute fella with shiny eyes that melted my heart. A smiley face of him made me see the delight in him. His athletic body made me feel safe around him. His blonde curled hair, dark eye brows and pointed nose made him even cuter.

He used to come to my place day by day sharing good moments with me. Chatting together, laughing together made me even love him more. He made me forget my agony and turn away from my past. I had seen light at the end of the tunnel. Amazing experience.

Commemorations still fresh in my mind that very moment he uttered it... "Precious.... I love you baby..." I froze. "I will always be there for you" those were the sweet words that came from him. I just stood there. No word came off my mouth. Indeed I had fallen in love with this cute fellow. But what could I say?

I evoke vividly that day he asked me to join him at his place. "Have been yearning for you pretty... all I need is you" I melted. I had been waiting for this moment too... A moment I could hold and kiss this dude. To show him how much he meant to me. We held and smooched. Everything happened quite fast... all I reminiscence was the pain I felt when he tore through my thighs... At some point I felt a sweet sensation as he shoot up his weapon into my cabin... That was how I lost my virginity ... my dignity I suppose.

Three weeks down the line I missed my periods... OMG!! I couldn't believe this. Could I be..?? Why me Lord??? Were the questions that ran through my mind all the time. I was pregnant. I had to tell Jack. T'was the only choice I had.

Little did I know that it was the worst decision I ever made. T'was the last time I saw him. He was nowhere to be seen. It dawned on me... He had abandoned me. I didn't want to trust anybody now. I had to hide this pregnancy from the world. I feared rejection from my associates.

Two months now and my mum called me over to the sitting room. "What is happening? What are you hiding from me? Why are you acting so weird??" she asked. I had no choice. I couldn't hide it anymore though all I feared was her condition. I opened my mouth but no word came out... only the last sentence came out... "...Mother... am sorry... am expecting....."