fight for you (e.dolan)

twenty-six

7:00 pm, same day

avery: "hailey! get over here... now!"

hailey: "you're not my fucking mom, av- oh,
ethan, hey. you're early."

ethan: "yeah, gray and i finished talking
sooner than i thought and i was excited
to come see you."

avery: "oh my god, please. that's the
corniest thing i've ever heard."

hailey: "and you're still here, why, avery?"

avery: "because i don't exactly understand
why you're still seeing this dick, hailey."

hailey: "oh, shut up. you're ridiculous, you
know that? we haven't had a relationship
for the past two years and now you're trying
to step in to play the hero? were you not the
one that helped him get to me the night you
pretended to be drunk so i could pick you up?"

avery: "yeah, because i thought you
would be smart enough to reject his ass,
but you're clearly dumber than i thought."

ethan: "hailey, should i come back later
or-"

hailey: "no, we can go now. i'm not going to
let her ruin the night."

avery: "what's wrong with you? he's probably
just going to use you for sex the way he did to
me. remember, hailey, when he slept with me?
and before he did with you?"

hailey: "yeah, um, i'm pretty sure you were
the only one pathetic enough to fall for that.
if you want to talk about problems, you should
ask the girl who slept with a boy the day after
she saw him kissing her sister... oh wait, that
was you."

///////////

ethan: "hail, are you okay? you haven't
said a word since we left your house."

hailey: "i'm... yeah, i'm fine. how did
your talk with grayson go? how are
you feeling about him moving now?"

ethan: "him and i are fine. we talked
and we're good, i've accepted it and
we're still going to see each other a
lot. great, so now we've talked about
my life, can you please talk to me? i
know that something's wrong, hail. i
was there back at your house."

hailey: "it's just... avery kind of brought
up a lot of emotions i thought that i was
getting over."

ethan: "you mean, about what happened
between her and i?"

hailey: "yeah. that.

can i be honest with you?"

ethan: "of course you can."

hailey: "i'm trying really hard not to feel
mad at you right now, just because i'm
thinking about everything that happened-"

ethan: "i wish that i could-"

hailey: "wait, i'm not done. i'm trying really
hard not to feel angry at you, and that kind
of freaks me out."

ethan: "why?"

hailey: "because... i want to be with you
again, e. you made me so happy when
we were together, and you still make me so
happy now... but what if i never get over
this hurt and anger i feel about you and
my sister?

"what if... what if we get back together,
only to end up heartbroken again because
i can't work through all this bullshit i'm
feeling?"

ethan: "then i wouldn't blame you."

hailey: "what?"

ethan: "... look, hailey. i love you. i love you so, so much. but i broke your heart.

"i used you, i strung you along. and i hate that it took sleeping with avery to finally realize how badly i wanted you. i fucked up your trust, i took you for granted, and i broke your heart. and no matter how badly i want you, or need you, or wish i could have you again, there's nothing that can change what i did... so i guess what i'm trying to say is that if you can never get over that feeling, i'll respect that. and i deserve it."

the tears turned on easily with ethan's words, like they were idling by just waiting for their turn. faint black streaks from my mascara documented their presence down my cheeks, and i tried desperately to wipe the evidence away.

ethan's words rang in my ears and pumped the affliction that came with them through my veins. in my tangle of emotions, i almost didn't notice his warm hand reaching across the center console of his car to rest tentatively on my knee. of course, i say almost because i wouldn't have noticed had his touch not sent the same tingles throughout my body like it always managed to.

"i want to get over the feeling," i said quietly, my voice nearly a whisper as i finally, finally admitted my feelings out loud. "i want to forgive you, more than anything. i want to be with you, without the hurt, without the doubt, and the anger. i want it so badly." the words were said more to myself than anything, but i found myself bringing my hand to ethan's in my lap anyway and lacing his fingers between my own. he squeezed gently, sending another small shiver along my spine.

"then we'll get through it together." there was a small, comfortable silence floating in between us at ethan's words, and i allowed the corners of my lips to turn up at the small spark of hope that tried to ignite into a flame inside my chest. 

"come on, we're here," ethan spoke up again, softly. i turned my head out of the car window and furrowed my eyebrows. something familiar welled up in my chest but i couldn't right away place the memory trying to surface.

"did you bring me to your house for our date?"

"shush, you'll love it. it might even feel kind of familiar to you. now come on."

////// the next chapter is the last chapter...... yup.
it's going to be in written form.......!!!!! i hope that doesn't make people realize how much my writing sucks <3333333