What Makes You Beautiful

Chapter 5

 “So, why did you decide to ‘stop by’ on Saturday? I doubt it was because you just wanted to drop off a house warming present to a fan,” I said giggling.

“You have the cutest laugh, you know that?” said Harry smiling at me.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Honestly, I had begged the lads to buy the basket and figure out where you lived just so I could see you again,” he said, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. I impulsively leaned over and kissed his cheek. We were sitting on the couch in the living room while Stacey and the other boys were playing a card game in the dining room.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” I beamed. Harry looked back at me with his green eyes and I was at a loss for words. He seriously took my breath away. He lifted his hand and pushed back some strands of my hair that were out of my ponytail.

“I don’t understand how anyone could ever think about hurting you. You are so beautiful.” This made my chest swell. He thought I was beautiful. When I was being forced to be with Eddie, all I ever heard was how ugly and unattractive I was. The harsh memories brought a lump in my throat and I fought the tears that I could feel welling up. I started to bite my lip to distract myself. Harry obviously saw this and concern was written all over his face. I cursed myself for being so sensitive. Every time I thought about the traumatic experience with Eddie I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I’m pathetic.

“What is it, sweetheart?” I felt so embarrassed. He probably thought I was some unstable and overly emotional sap.  

“Nothing, I’m just being ridiculous,” I said trying to smile. He saw right through me.

“Please, tell me,” he begged, his breath tickling my face. I gave in.

“It’s just… All I ever heard from Eddie was what was wrong with me. I guess I got so used to it that I started to believe it,” I said as a tear fell from my eye. “You have no idea how bad it was. As much as I hate to say it, I actually contemplated suicide many times after my parents died. I had no one besides Stacey. I felt like I was holding her back. She had to cancel so many plans and events for me. I just thought, why stay? Nobody needs me. The only family I have is Stacey. Everyone else is dead. My ‘boyfriend’ abused me. Life just didn’t seem worthwhile. I hated it and I hated myself. And even now, I think about how much better off Stacey would be without me. She probably would have been able to go to college, get a job, get a life. But no, she couldn’t because of me.” I don’t know what came over me. One second I was fine and the next I was bawling and pouring my heart out. “I’m sorry,” I managed to gasp. “I’m being ridiculous.”

“Oh God no, baby. You are being far from ridiculous,” said Harry. He seemed to be getting as emotional as I was getting. “Come here,” he said opening his arms. I immediately went into his arms and held onto him. It’s funny. I haven’t even known Harry for that long, but I felt so safe with him. Like nothing could touch me. We held onto each other for a while until I finally broke the embrace. I gave Harry a small smile. The look he gave me was so passionate and loving that I couldn’t help but kiss him. He held onto one side of my face while his other hand was placed lightly on my hip. The kiss became more urgent as I felt myself lowering down on the couch. My breath became ragged and my heart seemed to beat a million times a second. It was everything I ever wanted. I just wanted someone; someone who actually cared for me. 

“Er, Harry?” We both shot right up at the sound of Louis who had come into the living room. “Well, well. What do we have here?” he said smirking. The others walked in as well and I could feel my cheeks burning. Stacey was smirking as well giving me that ‘I told you so’ look.