Words that may or may not make sense (A not so poetic series)

Smile

My smile is my silent scream
It yells all the pain all the hurt all the things I'd rather you not know
My smile screams so loudly that somehow it deafens, blinds and crippled me
I'm so blind
I never see all the bullshit that's about to happen
I never see that love isn't really ever real
I never see that all this truly is just fake
I'm so deaf
I don't hear the bullshit hidden behind every 'I love you'
I don't hear my brain telling me to give my heart a break
I don't hear anything but the sweet sounds that hides the truth behind each word
I'm a cripple
I can't move away from the pain
I can't seem to just get up and run away from it all
I wish I could reverse all this cause each one seems to get worse each
My smile gets louder by the minute
Every time I smile it's that silent scream
The one I can't ever really let escape cause really I'm dumb too
I can't let the thoughts that I really want to escape come from my lips
I'm dumb to speaking my mind
I keep everything in my head after all that's the only place I'm safe really or is it?
My silent scream, the smile I wear so proudly
I've heard many times that I have a beautiful smile
This is all so hilarious to me
I bet you wouldn't say the same if I screamed
The pain I feel
The hurt
It's all so unreal at times
I wonder what would you say if you knew the story
What is that I scream so loudly when I smile
Only if knew
Only then would you understand
So yea my smile is my scream.

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Cameca 28/09/17