Babehsitter [August Alsina Fanfic]

Chapter [12]

"You hurt me so bad August, it's like having your heart dug out from your chest and having it shot repeatedly even after it was already dead." I say while biting my lip to keep my emotions spilling out all at once. He looked down and then back up at me. Staring into my eyes he said "I'm sorry...I truly am and I shouldn't have done any of that to you Kanani. You were a diamond that shouldn't have been broken. I fucked up and I can't take it back no matter how much I prayed to God to somehow make a miracle happen." He stopped and took a breath before speaking again. "I...I got my miracle by being able to see you here and by you agreeing to even talk to me. I thank God for that and I thank you for even giving me a little chance to say what I wanted to say to you."

"You called my parents and everyone else. Why did you do that? What was the point of doing that? We were never together and you're still with Jazmine."

He scooted closer towards me and took my hand in his. I pulled away only to have it pulled back. "I didn't realize how much you meant to me till you left and said everything you said hit me. I was hurting badly Kanani, I didn't know how much I was in lo-"

"Stop don't say it if you don't mean it. I don't want to keep hurting, I don't want to go through the same cycle again August!" I yelled as tears slowly dropped from my eyes. I arose from the couch and walked away from the conversation, the situation, but most of all from him. He called my name, but I ignored him as I slammed the door. Walking down a hallway that lead to somewhere, anywhere away from him. I couldn't face my fears, my fears of him deciding... He caught me.

"Kanani don't run away from me!" He yelled. "Why not?! Why do I have to stay so you can tell me lies straight in my face?" I yelled back as I tussled with him to get out of his grip.

"What are you so afraid of?!"

"Of you choosing her over me!" I yelled as I finally broke down. The tears wouldn't stop pouring out of my eyes. "Kanani, I'm sorry...I-"

"Why do I have to stand here and listen to you saying that you loved me, but you're still with her? Why August why?!" I couldn't take it anymore, I began to swing fiercely at him, not really aiming for a specific part of his body. I was mad, I was hurt, and I was yet again heartbroken. He pulled me into him and embraced me tightly. A tear hit my forehead as I realized that he was hurting inside too. "I...I'm so sorry Kanani I'm sorry I'm sorry." He took a pause as I continued to cry in his arms.

"I have to do right by her, I want to be a good man Kanani. I had to choose and I chose her." He said. My heart hurts so much right now. I feel like I can't breathe. I stopped crying in an instant as I pushed him away softly. "I understand, there's nothing I can do and nothing I'll no longer do. I really do wish you happiness and thank you for talking to me."

"Kanani..." I stopped him before he could continue. "I love you too August, but my love is different from yours." I kissed his lips softly before turning my back towards him and walking away.

-

I sat on the Terrance and glanced at the sunset. I was in a trance or a daze, not knowing what to do or think I came out here to clear my head, but most of all my heart. Why did I keep doing this to myself? Why couldn't I have the person I truly yearned for? My body quakes as silent cries adorned the air.

The door slid open, continuing to cry I ignored whoever gently rubbed my back as another rubbed my hair. I was never the one that wanted to be comforted or touched when I was sad, but I needed this so that I could cry harder and louder. Having all of this pent up stress wasn't good for me. Getting up they embraced me in a hug as I let loud sobs escape me. I didn't want to hurt like this. God why me?

Hey love bugs 💕 Sorry about it being short but I realized that after thinking for the longest that I should just leave this chapter like this. All my chapters don't have to be long and I realize that now 😭. Sooo I hope you like this little talk they had. Next chapter shall be out soon. Also sorry I took awhile, my grandmother passed away and we just buried her. It took a toll on me, but now I'm back because I know she doesn't want me to give up on my writing.