Hurting; D.V

35.

The rest of the day I haven't heard from Daniel at all. Not even a little text telling me he was safe. I spammed him a couple hours back and he still never responded.

I was at the house now, Momma Deb was in the living room but before she could say anything to me, I ran to my room. I locked myself in my room and I locked my window as well. No one could possibly walk into my room.

I sat on my bed, I brought my knees up to my chests and I cried. Why does everything have to go wrong in my life. Nothing ever goes my way and I'm fucking tired of it. I'm tired of everything.

After I've had a good cry I got up from my bed and I went to my desk. I grabbed my pencil and I grabbed my drawing notebook and I started to draw my whole feelings on this little white paper.

Drawing helps me when ever I feel down. I draw out everything bad that runs through my mind. It helps me. It numbs the pain.

I then heard a knock on my door.
"What?!" I yelled.
"It's me" The voice said. I knew exactly who it was. It was Kevin. I walked towards the door and I opened it. Kevin then engulfed me in the tightest hug ever.
"This shouldn't be happening to you" Kevin said softly. I felt something wet drop on my skin. Kevin was crying. I pulled from the hug and I wiped his tears from his cheek.
"Don't cry, it's not your fault" I said softly.
"I know it's not my fault, it's Daniels" Kevin whispered as he looked down.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
Kevin grabbed my arm delicately, I could tell he was trying hard to not hurt me. He sat me down on my bed and I put his hand on my knee.

"He's the one that brought you into this" He spoke.
"I still don't get it" I replied to him.
"Daniel was the first and the most important person that Derrick wanted to kill the day that he brought a gun to school" I was shocked. I didn't know what to saw. I just looked at him in disbelief and shock.
"In the list that Derrick made, Daniel name was at the top and in red" Kevin continued. I sat there as a tear fell down my cheek. Kevin wiped it away but then, anger filled his eyes.

"I'm going to kill him!" Kevin yelled as he got up.
"Kevin calm down" I said in a calm voice.
"I can't!" He yelled at me. He started pacing around the room and whispering to himself but I couldn't here. I was just sitting on my bed, I didn't know what to do.

"Fuck, I'm going to regret this" Kevin said. He looked at me and walked up to me. He grabbed my face and he kissed me. My eyes were wide open as I was in shock. But I finally closed my eyes and kissed back. His body was so close to mine that it felt like we were moulding together.

15 seconds later I was realizing what I was doing and I pushed him off.
"What the fuck!" I yelled at him. He knew damn well I was with Daniel, why would he do that!

He looked at me with hurt in his eyes then he left. I heard the front for of the house slam close. I already knew it was Kevin.

I just sat there in total and complete shock. Why would he do that, he knew I'm happy with Daniel so I don't understand.

The crazy part about this whole situation is that, I liked it. I kissed him back and I liked it.