Sidelined (The QB Bad Boy and Me)

(25) "Can I explain?"

"Cooper, I-"

"It's okay Dallas," he interrupts, leaning away from the wall and gesturing for me to follow him to the steps. We sit down and I nervously twiddle my thumbs together. I feel terrible that he flew all the way here to take me to homecoming just to catch me making out with someone else.

My only defence is that I hadn't asked him to come, that would have been worse. The attempt to justify my actions goes down like a ton of bricks. I can't even convince myself that this isn't the worst thing I've ever done.

"I'm so sorry..." I mumble with my glance downcast in my lap. The silence is starting to gnaw at the last shred of stability I have left. I need him to say something.

"Don't be." He smiles as he stares out in front of him. The soft night breeze tousles his hair and chills the surface of my skin. It's getting colder but I'm well aware that the anxiety over this situation is making me feel ten times worse. "I get it, ya know. You guys have this thing. It's pretty obvious that you're tryna fight it."

"I'm failing..." I admit with a small voice.

"I've been in Drayton's position before," he casually states, but his eyes focus on absolutely nothing, indicating that his thoughts are possibly far off with memories of his own. "I've had to watch the girl that I love, move on with someone because a future wasn't in our cards. It fucking sucks."

"Drayton doesn't love me," I quickly deny the notion, not wanting the ache in my heart to become any worse.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." He nudges my arm with a playful smile. "The way someone looks at you can say a lot about how they feel. You both look at each other as though - as though no one else around you exists."

I don't say it out loud, but that's exactly how it feels when I look at him. As though we're the only two people in the room, the heated stares and lustful longing is nothing to be ashamed of because half the time I forget that other people can see it.

"So, what happened? With the girl you love?" I question, a little more interested in how he can relate to Dray.

"She's an Indian girl. She and her family moved here when she was young and we went to high school together. We went to separate colleges but the travel distance was only an hour by train so we made it work. I loved her." A sad smile tugs on the corners of his mouth as he stares at his lap. "Unfortunately her parents had arranged for her to marry someone else when she was a child. It's not super common and a lot of Indians don't adhere to such practices. But her family is old fashioned. So anyway, when it came time for her to get engaged, she tried to end things between us. But it never worked. We always found our way back to each other. It was so hard to know that her heart belonged to me, but by law she'd belong to someone else. I begged her to call it off, to be with me, I was willing to marry her if that's what it took. But she knew that she'd get shunned from her family and she felt that she couldn't lose them." His tone is almost bitter, like he resents the families involved. I suppose I would too. "Anyway" - he continues - "when they got married she was only in the country for a week before her husband moved them back to India. I think he knew something was going on. We got one last night together and I haven't seen her in over six months. If she was to show up here, right now, I'd go to her in a heartbeat."

By the end of his story he looks worn and defeated and I swipe the tear that slips down my cheek as I sniffle through a prickly nose. He's been through so much heartache and it makes what I've done ten times more gut-wrenching.

"I know that feeling you two share," he continues with a firm voice. "You'll always find your way back to each other because no one else can compare. And Drayton hates me, I know that because I hated Priya's husband. A lot. But I wouldn't want to come between what you have" - his hand rests on my knee - "don't lose it. Make it work."