Web of Sins

April 23

I think I would like to upload a chapter every Friday, or at least every weekend, so look forward to that!

***

The memories of the night before were as clear as daydreams in Lance's head, constant laughter ringing in his ear that seemed so vivid yet unreal. Maybe it was pathetic and embarrassing that his heart still increased in speed just by thinking about the race despite the entire affair having taken place last night, but he couldn't help his sense of wonder as he stared at the ocean-themed dream catcher that hung above his bed. Somehow, the thought that they would be having more fun today, fun that excluded sex, brought him even greater excitement.

Lance hadn't felt this way in a very long time. The very concept of excitement and leisurely joy had disappeared one year ago...exactly one year ago, in fact.

He slowly sat up in his bed, mood sombered as he reached for his phone and observed the date.

April 23. The cursed day. The day Lance's life lost its light. The day he was left all alone.

One year ago from this day...he disappeared.

Whereas his memories of last night had brought him excitement, remembering his past affiliation with April 23 was beginning to make Lance feel sick to the stomach, and he scooted back to lean against the headboard of the bed.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't go out today, couldn't go to work, couldn't see other people's faces. He had to cancel all his plans, there was no way he could do this, he just needed to curl up in bed with a bottle of liquor and hope to make it through the day...

No, he scolded himself, clenching his teeth as sweat gathered on his brow. You have to try.

Lance could clearly remember how agonizing and lonely his days had been at first, how he had felt like it was useless to go on. The only thing keeping him from giving up on life had been pathetic hope as he waited for his prince to return for him...

Eventually, he had to make the conscious decision to start hanging around Pidge and Hunk, so that he wouldn't go crazy while waiting...but that was many months ago. That was so, so many months ago, and it felt like even longer. Every day on his own felt like a lifetime, and third wheeling in Pidge and Hunk's antics was the distraction that had gotten him this far. But it had been an entire year now. Today was the anniversary of that day, and Lance wasn't stupid. He knew that nobody was coming back for him.

Maybe one year was enough. Maybe the amount of suffering he'd experienced within this past year was enough. Maybe he'd endured enough to the point where he was able to think about putting a foot forward. Maybe he wanted to put a foot forward.

He doubted it, doubted that he could experience anything other than these shackles that kept him chained where he was, like a caged bird stripped of freedom...but at the same time, there was that lingering sense of 'maybe'.

Today, the anniversary of the day he left, would decide it all. If, after exactly one year, Lance could actually smile...if he could actually have fun exactly one year later...then he would take it as a sign that the world was telling him he could finally be free of his chains. He would try to unlock his cage.

He took multiple deep breaths, cementing his decision to make an attempt at overriding the awful memories this day brought up by making new memories. His finger slid through his phone to see texts from Pidge and Hunk respectively, most of which consisted of questions regarding his 'date' last night along with demands for him to 'get his ass to Arus Cafe stat'. Wow, Pidge sure was pushy, but he figured he'd respond to her since Hunk was probably blowing everything out of proportion.