Kwentuhan tayo!

Kwentong Masakit

Pasensya na kayo... sadyang ako'y nasasaktan. Wag magalala, itong kathang isip lamang.

***

He pulled up on the other side of the street, parked the car and went out to my side to open the door for me.

Always the gentleman, I thought. My hand grazed to his and I felt that familiar electric pull. Familiar but not quite. There was something different, something that was not there before.

"Let's go?" he smiled, but my heart ached the moment I saw his eyes. He was hurting.

"Yeah, sure." I took his hand and we went inside our favourite Cafe.

We would always hang out here during the wee hours. Sometimes we'd talk and talk until we'd run out of things to talk about. Sometimes we'd just stay here drinking coffee and looking at each other and enjoying the warmth of our own company.

Fun times, yeah? Fun times.

I shook my head and look up only to find him looking back at me. I managed to push out a smile. I can't say I'm not disappointed when he didn't return it back to me but who am I to ask? I'm just -

"Maine -"

Oh god here we go. "Yes?"

"Masaya ka pa ba?"

If there's no table or chair or anything that I can hold on to, I would've fallen on the floor with my face first. Of course I am.

I am, right? Right?

I looked down, feeling like an errant child caught guilty about doing something bad. "I don't know."

It was a whisper but he heard it loud and clear. I heard him stifle a sob and my heart broke into a million pieces.

"Do you -" he was shaking his head as if reprimanding himself.

"Do you think it's time we - we called it through?"

My heart broke, I heard it shattering, I felt it cracking causing splinters to my lungs. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even say anything.

I looked at him. He's a picture of a defeated man. Someone who has fought so hard and lost it all.

I died. "Ito na ba talaga yung gusto mo?"

Please say no.

"Yes."

I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that relentlessly wanted to break free.

"Do you - did you - did you even love me?"

He smiled sadly.

"Sobra. Sobrang minahal kita, pakiramdam ko nasakal ka na. I'm sorry."

Can't you stay? Can't you fight for us again? One last time?

Please.

"I'm tired Maine. Pagod na ako magmahal ng sobra. Kasalanan ko naman eh. Binigay ko lahat. Inubos ko lahat. Nakalimutan ko nakakasakal ang magmahal at mahalin ng sobra. I should've learned my lesson pero hindi... natalo nito" he point at his heart "ito." pointing at his temple.

Please? One last time? "I'm sorry love. I'm sorry."

I swallowed my pride and held his hand. But he pulled away like I have some contagious disease. I gasped.

"I'm sorry Richard."

"I know. It's okay."

He left me there. Alone and crying. He was crying too.

Tonight, my heart broke.

But I have broken his for every night I did not spend listening to his reasons.

If only I had...

If only...

If only.