It burns. It burns like fire.
Every minute and every second is like being set ablaze by the hottest flame there is, and letting it spread into every corner of your body until it settles on the inside, where it hides. It's an endless cycle of torture and pain, but sometimes it goes away.
The water soothes the fire.
This feeling pours out onto the ache and settles it, leaving you stuck in a web of relief for moments on end, but these moments are taken away almost immediately after the pain is gone, and just leave you numb.
The numbness almost hurts more than the burn itself. However, it's not physical pain you feel, it's internal, emotional. You regret everything, then you blame yourself. 99% of the time, it wasn't your fault, but you begin to think it is.
"If I just did this..."
"If I just did that..."
"Maybe I'd be okay if..."
It isn't your fault.
And it isn't my fault.
It's his fault.
I never did anything to hurt him, and here I am, being hurt by him every week, every day, every second, and the funny thing is I didn't even know it was him. And here I am, delirious to my past and delirious to my future, if I even have one.
If he knew, he might have stopped, though he didn't. He wrecked everything and everyone that tended to my wounds, and brought every internal and external scar back a thousand times worse.
He gave me water, but rained fire down on me, and in the end, I'll forever be burned.
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