There's something wrong with me. My soul can only truly connect to people that have the worst or unreal intentions. Genuine people are as rare as blue whales in the oceans and white herons in the skies.
People try so hard to be interesting that they forget who they really are, creating events and stories to entice the minds of others who only wish to know honesty and realistic lives; making themselves seem bigger and exciting only to start something that is, in turn, a snowball effect. Can't back out now must continue this charade of fake people and fake things and fake happenings. Why? The ones who wish to be around you always, will stay, no matter how uneventful you are, no matter how sad you are, no matter how much you wish for certain things. Judgement will come and pass but those who see realism in your soul will stay and masking everything that you are will create barriers and walls that you will question once you have created them, asking how do I knock these down now? I can't see over the top of this barricade and people want to get in but I can't stop building.
I hate this shallowness that I have expressed in words. Everyone is temporary to everyone else. Waiting for something better to come along, making those people who've built protective, barbed wire fences with fear woven into every wire, cut them down and cling to you with desperation until you see someone wandering free without a fence around them. And you go. You go back through the gaping hole you forced a faded person to create in their defence and you walk away with someone who is unafraid to welcome new souls into their universe. You leave a broken someone vulnerable and they have no wire left to fix the hole, they'll never forget your presence as they cannot unsee what you have done. It's staring them right in the face. It's a dark and lonely desert out here.
Now you're just another energy pattern who was once worth the entire galaxy.
Life is precious and fragile and a view into another persons universe should feel like a privilege but perhaps,
I am not built for this planet. And I am the fool in a tiny house, made of barbed wire.
