only you. (m.w)

one.

new towns.
new schools.
new friends.
y/n l/n.
the middle child of five.
also known as the most forgotten.
y/n would never live that down though.
she's the reason her family left.
she's the sorry mistake of the family.
y/n of course never told anyone of her embarrassment.
she knew quite well the shame she brought to the y/l last name.
but as her family grew quite comfortable in hawkins,
y/n grew anxious.
she didn't have many friends.
unless you count the tattered, well read books she studied for days on end.
y/n considered herself a lone wolf.
and here y/n laid,
in the messy bed of hers with eyes trailing the pages of the book she had read so many times before,
she could practically recite it.
she stared at the clock,
sighing as it read two forty-five am.
but she couldn't sleep.
she was more restless tonight than usual.
but how could she sleep on a night like this?
knowing tomorrow was the beginning of a new day at an entirely new school.
y/n hated first days.
meeting new teachers.
meeting new people.
seeing the peers around her stressing about work.
the taunting of the bullies.
y/n hated school with every bone in her body.
but what was she to do?
drop out?
the thought of that was nearly hysterical.
college was her only way out of this life.
was risking her escape worth the stress free life she'd lead leaving highschool early?
it was doubtful.
and as she let her mind wander to the events of tomorrow,
she felt her stomach tighten and her palms sweat.
her stress levels were at an all time high.
"it won't be that bad, y/n,"
she attempted to encourage herself.
she took in a deep breath with her eyes closed,
hoping she'd be able to ground herself.
unfortunately,
it didn't do much for her.
she continued to lay still in her bed with a hammering heart and throbbing head.
and as she found herself on the brink of tears,
she figured the only way out of this was through the gods above;
whoever that may be.
"please let tomorrow be a good day."
as she stared at the ceiling above,
allowing herself to zone out for just this moment in time,
she found comfort in her ability to stop existing.
even if it was for a split second.
she'd keep her eyes open for so long,
just staring at the ceiling,
that they'd begin to burn.
but it didn't matter.
because she allowed time to stop for as long as she pleased.
but then she blinked,
and she was back to her reality.
when the weight in her eyes grew heavy and she could no longer fight it,
she fell asleep to the peaceful sounds of rain against her window.
***
when her alarm rang out the next morning,
she hurried to shut it off in fear of waking the family around her.
waking them up at such early hours of the morning had earned her nothing but a quick, painful smack to the mouth.
they were brutal,
y/n began to think.
how she wished she could just move out,
maybe even just run away.
all she wanted to do was leave.
leave them behind and start anew.
where she'd be happy.
these thoughts so early in the morning made her chuckle humorlessly,
knowing she'd never make it far with her being so young.
she then tiptoed out of the bed,
shakily dressing herself for the day ahead.
y/n hoped what she chose to wear for today was okay.
she didn't want to start her first day off with a look that was easy to tease.
y/n was a woman of mind.
she was sweet,
colorful,
and determined
when she wanted to be
but unfortunately,
she bared a short temper.
she found herself biting her tongue most of the time,
trying to fight back those spiteful comments that stormed within her mind.
but y/n was afraid,
if she was being honest.
y/n was afraid of everything now.
she could only wonder if her mother had finally beat the temper out of her.
the girl shook her head of these worrying thoughts,
slipping the shoes on her feet and heading out towards the front door.
"dear god."