Crush

Guilts

"You're so over the moon just now. You don't even realize I was with you," Fione said. It's true. I totally forgot that she was with me when I talked to Zach. I'm just so excited and nervous when I talk to him. That makes me forget everything and everyone near me.

"Sorry. I just. You know. Excited." I said with a grin.

We walked along our way to our house with so much laughter and talks. Different topics for each minute. You can't ran out of topics when you're talking with us.

I reached my house and said goodbye to Fione. Her house were few more blocks away from me.

"I'm home." I called out when I entered the house. I saw my sister watching television in the living room while my father was still on his phone. Same with my mom.

No one answer me so I just go to my room instead. It's different since we moved here. Getting harder actually. My mom couldn't do her job while my dad being so busy nowadays. There's no more happiness in this house to be correct. No one will gives you morning wishes when you wake up, no more laughing together during dinner, no one will ask how you're doing and etc.

My mom will loose her temper easily now. She become lazier and I have to do all the chores in our house. The cleaning, dishes, cooking, preparing stuffs. It's just become my duty now. It's heartbreaking actually.

When I got my exam result for previous exam with accomplishment, my parents seemed to not care anymore. Instead, they're mad at me. They said that I'm getting worst in my grades and that I'm too busy with my phone and stuffs. It's true that I don't get straight A's , but I managed to get straight B's. Not a good accomplishment but I got better than my previous grade.

It's so hard when your parents don't understand you well and keep on blaming you on many stuff. I don't mean to complain but it's getting worst everyday. They insulted me straight to my face. No good lucks in exam and no congratulations in my grades. Hurt. There's no one to confort me in this house. My sister is not with me.

But, I manage to let go everything in my heads when I'm at school. They didn't treat me like some kind of disgusted people. They treat me as normal people. I'm so happy to go to school everyday. Sometimes I wish to go to school during weekends too. Two big reason. First, is to let go of my problems. Second, is to look at Zach face. Oh my god. I can't get over him.

****

I unlock my phone to see through all of my messages. Some of them are from group chats. Which I don't really care. I scroll to all of the messages when I saw Owen's chat.

Owen: hi

Me: hi

Owen: what r you doing?

Me: chatting

Owen: ok

I thought that was over, but I saw the 'typing' sign below Owen's name. It shows that he's still typing something of course. It took him so long to type. I hope he doesn't give paragraphs. I'm to exhausted to read.

Owen: have you ever cry?

He ask. What took him so long to ask that. It's a weird question to ask. Of course I had cried. Who never?

Me: of course

I reply shortly. I think he's hurting now. He probably has something bothering his mind right now and needed someone to talk to. But please. Please don't say that I'm involved in his problem. I already felt so guilty for him suffering because I friend zone him.

Owen: when was the last time?

He asked. The last time I cried was when my family changed so much. And that was yesterday. But I don't think I could tell him that.

Me: few years ago

Owen: why?

Maybe I should just tell him about my darkest memory in pre-school.

Me: bullied. I was insulted and bullied for three years in my pre-school time.

Owen: Wow. I'm sorry.

He replied. Probably didn't know what to say anymore.

Me: yeah, it's okay. Not your fault. What's your problem?

Owen: I just afraid of losing friends. Nana and the girls and you are the best gift I ever got in my life. I never have friends like you guys before. I'm worried that if we lost each other I might lost myself and don't know what to do. You guys helped me a lot, and I wish I could pay you guys back.

He replied. Why am I involved of being his best friend? We never talked before. I mean, we're friends but I don't think that I'm one of his important people in life.

Me: yeah... it's fine. They won't leave you ever. I can guarantee that to you. i won't either. We'll be friends forever.

I replied. Great. Now I'm friend zoning him again.

Owen: thanks. I appreciate your kindness to me. Sorry if I bother you tonight.

Me: it's ok.

And our conversation's over. He didn't reply me after that. Goshh. I feel guilty.

~*~*~*~*

A/N

Hi guys!!! Just a quick announcement. For those who know me and the whole story, I won't be writing this story based on 'him' anymore. (You know who he is.) I thinks it's not good for me to write a story about him but I twisted it a lot. So, no more about him. The next chapter will be based on my imagination. More drama this time. Hope you like it!!!!

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