you are my antidote | bts yoongi { myg }

Chapter 1 Poison

„Soo-jin. I want to break up."

It is the first time this evening that she actually turns to look at me. She frowns. I know that look on her face just too well. I've seen it too often lately.

"What did you say?" Her voice is sharp as it cuts through the silence.

I look her dead in the eye and repeat myself. "I said I want to break up."

My voice sounds calm and I would bet that my face is not giving away my emotions. Luckily for me, I think to myself.

Soo-jin swallows as she is trying to digest the information that has just reached her ears, visibly fighting for words.

She is taken by surprise. I know she is.

"Why?" The question barely escapes her mouth. She really can't understand.

There are a million of things that I want to tell her. A million of accusations. 

"I'm tired." That's all I say and I can see that she still doesn't understand.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Yoongi? You are always tired! Of everything!" She finally snaps out of her daze and turns right back into the person I have learned to loath. 

Before we were officially dating, she was all sweet and I really believed that she was in love with me for the person I was. I believed that I could be happy with her. That we would be happy together. 

But soon after we had started dating, I realised that she only used me. I was a mere status object for her to show around when she pleased but to ditch and leave behind when she felt like it.

"I'm tired of you showing me around and then dropping me when you get bored. But most of all, I am tired of you." 

I can finally see a shift in her expression. It begins to dawn on her that I am being dead-ass serious.

"You tricked me into believing that you really liked me. And that you were a person I would like. But now you are nothing like you pretended to be when we first met."

She tries to contradict, tries to argue about every point I make.

But I know that she has changed. And I tell her how I can't stand her bitchy attitude towards people, who are nice to her but who she sees as inferior to herself.

Her popularity has gotten to her head and I've got more than enough examples for that but at some point I am just tired of arguing back and forth.

"When was the last time you asked me about my day instead of bragging about how many dudes have a crush on you?"

That shuts her up for a good couple of seconds. I really want to believe that my words could maybe get to her. That she will reflect on what I said and on the person she has become. But she blocks my words out as soon as she feels threatened by them.

"So what, Yoongi? Are you jealous?", she snaps and scrunches up her nose.

I shake my head because she still doesn't understand the point I am trying to make. She will never understand me, I can see that know.

"No", I say. "I'd like to believe I deserve better." 

I really mean those words. They are what I have clung onto until now. They are what keeps me going. What keeps me from apologising, from taking back what I said, from being a coward and from begging Soo-jin to turn back into the person I fell in love with.                                               Because I know it is not going to happen.

"So you're just going to dump me now? Just like that?!" Her voice sounds shrill.

However, she is not afraid of losing me but that she is the one who is getting dumped. That's something that will probably harm the image that she has worked so hard on during the past months.

I am genuinely sorry. But I know that I cannot stay any longer. 

Our relationship is toxic. 

In a way, we are like Romeo and Juliet. Not like the part about the biggest love there has ever been. But more like the end of it.                                                                                                                                 

Soo-jin is faking her love for me like Juliet faked her death.  And her fakeness is the poison. 

It's like I am Romeo, but I don't go for the dagger. Instead I have decided to taste her poison to know if it's real. And it looks like I had to find out that it is. It really is.

I leave because I know that there is no second chance for our relationship. 

Our love has died. Like the real Romeo did. 

But I am determined to find my antidote. I am determined to survive.

A/N

So that was the first chapter; I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think :)

And most importantly: Stay tuned to learn how the story continues ;)  (wEll, that sentence was cringe-worthy)