Don't Speak(Reddie)

Chapter Thirteen

Eddie

I woke up and instantly felt dread wash over me. I remembered everything from the night before. From drinking way too much to Richie walking in on Ryan and I kissing. I didn't even know why I fucking did it. I guess I kind of did. I'd been worrying that maybe what I felt for Richie wasn't love, that maybe it was just a crush.  But when I kissed Ryan, there was nothing. It wasn't like kissing Richie at all. When I kissed Richie I felt an overwhelming happiness and it'd drive all of my senses crazy. It was a stupid plan that ended terribly. Now I was probably going to get broken up with right as I realized that I was in love.

As if he had some sort of sixth sense Richie came into his room then. He didn't look any happier than he did last night and I knew I was in for it. "Well I hope you had a good fucking time last night. Do you remember what happened?" I cringed at his harsh tone and nodded. "Why the fuck would you do something like this? After everything? After all of the time and fucking energy I've poured into this relationship?"

"I... I was worried that maybe I didn't love you and I just had some silly crush on you. I know it was a stupid idea but I was wasted and I wanted to kiss someone else that I thought was cute to test it. "

"Yeah that is a really fucking stupid idea. I don't even know if I fucking believe that. I never thought you'd do something like what you did last night. Especially with as big of a deal as you made about someone CUDDLING with me! I don't even know how to trust you now. You were the one fucking person I never expected to let me down." I started crying then. Knowing that Richie felt differently about me now was enough to break me. I would never drink again because it potentially lost me the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn't know what to do to make up for what I had done or if there was even anything I could do. 

"I-I'm sorry R-Rich. P-Please don't break up w-with me. I'll never drink again! I-I'll never go to another party. I--" He put his hand over my mouth and let out a bit of a frustrated noise. "Breaking up with you wasn't an option in all of this. If you think you'll get rid of me that easily you are sadly fucking mistaken, but if you think it's going to be easy for me to trust you again you are also sadly mistaken. We'll work past this shit but you really hurt me last night and you damaged the trust between us." I was relieved that we weren't breaking up. Gaining his trust again was going to be easier than he thought because right then and there I vowed not to do anything else to damage our relationship. As much as I wanted to tell him that I loved him, now didn't seem like the time.

"I understand Richie and I'm going to do everything I can to fix this."

"Did you even reach your little fucked up epiphany? Did ole Ryan's lips make you realize anything at all?"The way he was lashing out at me made me not want to tell him at all, but I knew that wouldn't help anything. "The only way I'm telling you shit is if you promise not to throw this kiss in my face. If you forgive me, forgive me."

"I honestly don't even want to think about it, let alone fucking talk about it. Also I'm not the kind of person to forgive someone for something and keep dragging it up, kind of defeats the purpose of forgiving someone. All of that being said, I never once said I was forgiving you silly. Just that we aren't broken up." I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. If he was, he'd lost his fucking mind and it was likely I would murder him. "Richie I swear to god I will strike you down where you fucking stand if you're serious right now."

"Ugh why are tiny people so goddamn hostile? Of course I'm kidding you doof. I don't think I could stay mad you if I tried. This just kind of fucked me up a little bit because I've never cared about shit like this before." I knew nothing like this would never happen again and I knew it would take some time for Richie to get that through his head. I was going to make sure I did anything and everything to convince him, but thing don't always go exactly how you want them to, do they? 

A/N: Heh heh heh