Don't Speak(Reddie)

Chapter Fourteen

Richie

It had only been about two weeks since the kissing incident and things were far from normal. Eddie and I were seeing less of each other. It bothered me but if he wanted his space I guess for once I would give it to him. Tonight I was going to a party by myself. I asked Eddie if he wanted to go and he told me he wasn't feeling well which was an obvious lie. He was well aware that  I knew when he was lying but it didn't phase him in that moment, meaning he really must have wanted to be left alone. I wanted to bug him and pester him about it but I felt like that wasn't the best way to approach what was going on. If he had an issue with me he'd tell me eventually.

A lot of the reason I wouldn't confront him about it was because when I tried to mention the weird tension between us before he said he was just tired of me being so clingy. That ever since we started dating I've been 'up his ass.'. To which I of course opened my big mouth and said: "Maybe if I was actually up your ass you'd lose the piss poor attitude." That was about a week after what happened. That landed me in the doghouse for 2 days. All of this was hurting me. I really loved Eddie with everything in me and I knew something was wrong but I couldn't get it out of him. Why would he be any kind of upset with me? I wasn't the one kissing other people. I wasn't the one who betrayed his trust. Yet he was avoiding me and acting like I was some kind of problem.

The party was semi-uneventful. I had the opportunity to do a whole lot more than kiss someone else, but I couldn't do it. Even with all the alcohol and annoyance I felt towards Eddie, I couldn't cheat on him. I felt far too much for him and by the end of the night I ended up at his window. I didn't do this often because I really didn't need Ms.K to catch me and call the cops or something. Try to fabricate some story about me breaking and entering or some shit. That woman really didn't like me. Couldn't really blame her though. With my reputation(which she was also well aware of) and my hold on her son, Ii wouldn't really like me either if I were her. Well at least I hoped I had a hold on her son.

I tapped on his window until he was finally startled awake. He got an annoyed look on his face before he got up from his bed and opened the window. Due to my inebriated state it was a little bit more difficult for me to get through his window but I manged to do so without causing too much of a disturbance. As soon as I was in his room I rounded on him.

"Why the fuck are you playing with me?" 

"I'm not. Richie wh--"

"You fucking are though! You've been avoiding me and you've been lying to me like I'm the one that fucked up. I didn't though. You know I went to that party tonight and I had plenty of opportunities to sleep with someone else but I didn't and I never would. I care about you so much and I just want to know what's the hell is going on with you." He deadpanned for a moment. Then seemed to take this time to gather himself.

"I... I don't know. Things just feel different now. I feel terrible about what I did and I don't know how to stop feeling terrible." Was guilt really all this was about? I wanted to shake the boy but I refrained, instead I pulled him into a tight hug. I pulled back and my eyes met his. "I'm honestly kind of drunk right now but it doesn't take away from what I'm about to say at all. It was just a kiss Eddie. Yes it hurt but we're moving past it and I'd like to keep it that way. I haven't even really thought about it over these past 2 weeks. I've just been thinking about how much I wish you weren't being distant." What I said gave me the opposite of what I was hoping for.  Instead of us making up and everything being fine, he started to cry. Then... Then he said something that really wounded me.

"I haven't just been avoiding you because I feel bad about what happened. I've been avoiding you mainly because I-I actually liked kissing Ryan. I've never really gotten to explore other people before and I really think I'd like to do that before getting into the kind of relationship you want with me." He kept talking but I tuned it all out and got trapped in my head. What the fuck was I going to do? Just let him run around and do whatever then take him back when he was ready to be with me? Welcome him right back with open fucking arms like he never broke my heart? 

What could I really do though? I'd fallen for the small boy and the thought of being with anyone else was sickening to me. The thought of him being with someone else was even more sickening. I was determined to do anything and everything to stop this from happening.

A/N: Sorry I've been away for so long guys. (Please don't kill me!!!!!)