in the bathtub with a toaster ; shyan

f o u r

tw; aftermath of abusive group sex, fighting

ryan rolls over in his bed, groaning quietly. he quite expected someone to be sleeping next to him. he's been sleeping with warm bodies in his bed for far too long. he rubs his face, swings his legs out over the edge of his bed and sighs. he doesn't remember much if last night, but vague screams echo in his consciousness. he really didn't want to face school today -- least of all, shane.

ryan stands, rubbing his face and groaning again. his legs hurt, his hips ache and his whole body is riveted in pain. looking down, his torso is littered in different colors, shapes and sizes of bruises and hickeys. he gingerly touches one and winces. okay, so he was hit last night. a lot, apparently.

everywhere hurts.

he walks into the bathroom and grimaces upon seeing just how many of the blemishes are actually on him. he wonders who fucked him, how many people fucked him (because, judging from this immense amount of pain he's in, he can deduce that people shared him last night) and if they'd catcall him in the hallways today. he just chooses to skip school and spare himself the troubles of other kids. 

"ryan! you'd better be ready for school, you're not skipping today!" his brother yells, stomping down the stairs. ryan groans and grumpily puts on his clothes. his brother is his ride to and from school on days where he wasn't going home with another person.

grabbing his phone, he checks the messages as he gets into jake's car. several texts from different people, either hitting him up for sex or telling him last night was great. he groans quietly, jake shooting him a daggered glare.

pulling in front of the high school, ryan gets out of jake's car and flips him off as his brother leaves, revving off into the distance.

ryan sighs and walks into the school, hands in his pockets, tired eyes on the gross linoleum floor. several people bump into him. others swerve to avoid hitting him as if he had the plague.

one person pulls him aside and tells him that they had a great time last night, and never have they seen a single person take so much dick at once.

ryan thanks them and leaves.

the day is thoroughly uneventful and every normal thing happens. a girl passes him a note, he eats her out in the girls' room; a boy takes him into a bathroom and fucks him against a wall; etcetera, etcetera.

that is, until lunch. ryan has been avoiding shane all day, not used to having a... a friend? could he call Shane a friend? was yesterday something friends do?

alas, Ryan's train of thought gets derailed by shane's hand on his shoulder.

"hey, you've been avoiding me," shane says, slightly accusatory and upset. his hand comes off syan's shoulder.

"sorry. i... i was busy last night and i didn't want to, uh, bother you today," ryan answers, eyes on the floor.

"oh. oh. that's fine. i was just wondering if you wanted to hang out after school again today?" shane asks, a smile gracing his lips. he looks genuinely happy just to be talking with ryan.

ryan sighs. "i'll probably be, er, busy after school... i'm sorry."

"you apologize too much! really, it's okay." shane laughs.

"sorry..." ryan mumbles. He can't help but feel a little annoyed by shane talking to him. why the hell is this tall boy being so nice to someone so undeserving?!

"ry, it's really okay. promise. you seem upset, did you get fucked too hard last night?" shane jokes, eyes sparkling.

"shane, i can't even remember who fucked me last night! you think i want this- this shit everyday? do you really think i wake up everyday, stoked to get fucked in supply closets and dirty bathrooms?" ryan suddenly spits, pushing past shane's tall frame.

"wait, ryan, I know you're upset-" shane starts.

"stop fucking analyzing me! i'm not some, some stupid fucking science project for you to puzzle the fuck out, okay?!" ryan yells, exasperated, hopeless tears in his eyes, "i'm a real human that needs comfort and love and i just need to fucking leave, okay...? let me get past."

"ryan-" shane makes a grab for ryan's shoulder but ryan ducks under shane's gangly arm.

"don't touch me." ryan looks over his shoulder at shane, those tears spilling onto his face, dripping off his chin and onto his shirt.

shane watches as ryan storms off, pushing past people. maybe that joke was too insensitive?

ryan, however, exits the school and breathes in the fresh air. his blood still boils in his veins and he hates shane in that moment.

how dare shane act like he knows ryan's struggle everyday? how dare shane try to analyze ryan like a brainscan or something?

ryan shakes his head and runs to the park, planning to spend his whole day there. and he does. because the park is his safe space.

and no one can take that away from him.