Yer Blues

Chapter Five

Ringo swore his beloved rings he'd never seen George yell since he'd known him. George wasn't someone who yelled all the time. He was someone who would calmly tell you how it was, not scream it. That was John's duty.

They were sitting down to breakfast that morning, eating Paul's homemade blueberry pancakes, which were Ringo's favorite. There were two things that Paul was really excellent at making: mashed potatoes and blueberry pancakes.

Ringo's pancake had annoyingly soaked in all the syrup, so he looked at the other end of the table where a slightly blue-tinted George was scarfing food down, having the death-grip on the syrup bottle. Ringo didn't know what was scarier, that George looked like the blueberries in Paul's pancakes or that he was about to crush the bottle.

He spoke up anyway, "Um, George, could you please pass the syrup?"

George continued to inhale his pancakes without looking up. Paul noticed this and looked over at George, who was sitting next to him. John wasn't paying attention because he was not a morning person at all and looked like he was still in a daze.

"George, could you pass the syrup to Rings?" Paul asked politely.

George still acted as if he hadn't heard anything.

"George," Paul said, voice taking on an annoyed tone, and grabbed ahold of the syrup bottle. He gave it a jerk, but George's fingers remained wrapped around it.

"You know what?" Ringo said, nervously. "I'm fine. I don't need syrup."

"No, he's giving you the syrup," Paul said through gritted teeth, pulling on the bottle harder. "George Harrison, stop acting like a child."

George's eyes slowly locked onto Paul, and Ringo could have sworn he heard a growl crawling up his friend's throat. George slammed his fork down and yelled, "I WILL NOT GIVE ANYONE THE FREAKING SYRUP!"

The table was swept with uneasy silence. Now even John looked up from his food, eyes narrowing slightly. "What the bloody Blue Meanie is wrong with you?" Under normal circumstances Ringo would have chuckled at John's stupid saying, but this was not a normal circumstance. Not by a long shot.

"I DON'T THINK ANYTHING'S WRONG WITH ME!" George screamed, abruptly stood up from the table, knocking his chair over in the process, and stormed off to his bedroom, still latched onto the syrup bottle.

They all sat in more silence, Paul chewing on his fingernails nervously, John chomping on his food angrily, and Ringo squirming in his chair.

"How am I supposed to eat my bloody pancakes when he had a hissy fit and stole the syrup?" John asked Paul.

Paul glared at him, still chewing on his nails. "John, this is about more than the syrup." He leaned across the table and whispered urgently, "Haven't you noticed that his complexion has been looking a bit . . . blue lately?"

"Yeah, so?" John said.

Paul looked at him pointedly.

"What?" John said. "I just thought that he had a weird Pepperland sunburn."

"A sunburn?" Ringo said and then burst out laughing, which earned him a withering glare from Macca.

"I think our George is turning into a Blue Meanie," Paul whispered.

"What?" John said. "I can't hear you. Speak up."

"I think he's turning into a Blue Meanie," Paul said just a little louder.

"What was that?" John said, craning his ear in Paul's direction.

Paul finally snapped. "I think he's turning into a Blue Meanie!" he yelled.

"Shh!" John hissed. "He'll hear you!"

"How would that ha— " Ringo began.

"Pattie," John and Paul interrupted simultaneously, then they looked at each in annoyance.

Ringo began to get flustered. "But—But why would he kiss her after the Lord Mayor told us what would happen?"

"Because he wanted it," Paul said. "He thinks he's in love with her."

John snorted. "He thinks he's in love with her is right. He just met her. Love doesn't happen that fast."

"Do you believe in a love at first sight?" Paul sang.

"Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time," Ringo sang in reply.

John wrinkled his nose. "Oh, come on, you two. We need to do something to help him."

"Like what?" Paul asked.

"What about Jeremy?" Ringo suggested. "He seems to know everything."

"Ah, yes, the boob," John said with a smirk. He stood up from the table. "Let's take him to Jeremy."

"But how are we going to get him to come with us?" Paul asked. "You've seen the state he's in."

"I know just the thing," John said. He yelled down the hall, "George, we're going to get ice cream!" George practically came running down the hallway.

* * *

"Oh, yes," Jeremy said, standing on a step stool to get a good look at George, who was being held in place by John and Paul. "Your friend is turning into a Blue Meanie."

"We know that," Ringo said, rolling his eyes.

"He's been acting rather aggressive lately," Paul said as George started hollering something incomprehensible. "He's acting like how the Blue Meanies were before the peace. Is there a cure?"

"Yes, yes," Jeremy said and lightly hopped from the step stool over to his typewriter where he began to type wildly.

"This isn't going to be one of those long journeys where we have to spend months looking for stupidly rare things, is it?" John said with a pained expression.

"Oh, it won't take months, no, no," Jeremy said joyfully, finishing his typing and pulling the paper from the typewriter. "To cure him you will need some herbs from the Sea of Monsters— "

"Oh, God," John moaned.

" —some pepper from the Foothills of the Headlines— "

"Really?" Ringo asked incredulously.

" —a test tube full of bromine from the Sea of Science— "

"Oh, dear," Paul said, biting his fingernails again while George began to yell more.

"— and a clock from the Sea of Time," Jeremy finished and handed them the paper he had just typed it all out on.

John studied it for a moment before saying, "He isn't this important to us, really. I think he would enjoy life as a Blue Meanie just fine."

In response, George screamed, "HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'D ENJOY AND WHAT I WOULDN'T, YOU SOD?" He then kicked John in the shin and broke free of their grasp.

"He is so dead," John growled and then proceeded to chase him around the room.

Ringo regarded the chase uneasily. "Should we help him?"

Paul ignored him. "I'll go ask Old Fred if we can use the submarine. You're coming, aren't you, Jeremy?"

"Indeed!" Jeremy exclaimed, hopping from foot to foot.

"Paul, I think John needs hel— " Ringo began, but didn't finish because John tackled George with a loud yell.

"We'll have the Lord Mayor lock him in one of the music rooms while we're gone," Jeremy said.

John was breathing heavily with George squirming and yelling very rude things under him. "That sounds like a perfect place for him."