Forevermore

1

The cold has never bothered me before, and as I stretch my arms out to the sides, I know that it never will. I twirl with a giant smile as I look in wonder upon the sparkles surrounding me. Our house door swings shut behind me and I spin around smiling as my mother steps outside. She smiles as I run to her and she laughs lifting me up and spinning me around.

"Selena."

I snap from the memory and blink staring down at the picture clutched in my grip.

"Hey Selena?" I quickly put the picture under my pillow as the footsteps grow closer. I look up as my best friend and roommate, Lidia, walks in with two dresses.

"Black or blue?" She asks me and I shift my gaze back and forth between the two.

"Black. You going out tonight?" I ask and she nods with a grin.

"Who with?" I ask as she flops down beside me.

"Evan."

I smirk, "he's the nicest one yet", she rolls her eyes.

"Okay okay, I know I don't have the best history with men." I let out a short laugh and she sighs.

"At least I date though." She says with a glint.

"Hey, I do to date!" I exclaim and she rolls her eyes.

"Right. Please, ever since you and Jake broke up, you've yet to have gone out with another guy."

"I'm not ready. It's too soon."

"Too soon? Selena that was three years ago." She exclaims and I rub my arms. 

"I'll date again-- when I'm ready." I clarify as she goes to say something. 

"Oh come on girl."

"Look Lids, if I date again I want it to be real. Not just some one night stand. I'm not interested in that." I say and she sighs.

"That's not something you find a lot of Selena."

"Well, then I guess I'm not going to ever date again then. Jake and I were together for five years, I'm not ready to give up the long relationships for short pity parties." I say standing up and cursing as I knock my pillow off the bed. Lidia looks down at the photo and I hear her sigh.

"I didn't realize what time of the month it was. I'm sorry Selena."

"It's fine-- I'm fine." I say keeping my back to her as I rummage through my closet.

"I can stay in tonight." She says and I shake my head.

"No, honestly don't. I'll be okay." I say turning back to face her. She sighs standing up and walking over to me. She pulls me in for a hug and I bite my lip to keep the tears from spilling.

"Besides, Evan's one of the better guys you've gone out with. I don't want you to lose him." I say and she smiles but sighs.

"I'm sure he'd understand." She says grabbing my hands. I shake my head.

"Honestly, I'll be okay. Have fun." I say and she nods.

"Alright, you call me if you need anything." She says and I smile giving her a quick hug.

"I will." I say and she grins then leaves my room. I walk back over to my bed and sit down pulling my knees to my chest. I sigh, grabbing the stuffed bear my mother gave to me when I was a baby. I hold him against my chest and lean my head back against the wall shutting my eyes.

~~~