Eyes

Reunion

                       CHAPTER ONE

You know that feeling when you know there is something more in in that you are experiencing but you can't really place your finger on it. You are confused; you start to search your mind cos it keeps telling you 'hey, there is something '. And then you get all confused again and there is that part of you that's sad and struggling to come out,  to be free. Do you know the feeling.

Wait am not even sure if that's how am feeling right now. I don't know anymore.

Ughhhhhhhhhh..  This is way harder than I though.

Ok wait.. Don't go. Let me start by introducing myself; my name is Adesua and am a Nigerian. Y'all know those feelings I was blabbing about earlier on,  yeah those feelings. That's exactly how am feeling right about now in my life. Ok, wait, what am I saying? I have bin feeling that way for a very long time. Just that in my case, I know exactly what is bothering me, I can place my fingering it, I get all sad and scared cos I know am not meant to be feeling this way at all.

Why? Why am I not meant to have these feelings?  Cos that's not the way I was brought up. But this is something I have no control over. Every now and then I find myself tilting toward the other side. The only people that know about this are my friends. I happen to have three girlfriends and they are gold tell u. I think there are diamonds cos y know what they say.

Diamond being a girl best friend,,, Hahahaha, get it? They know all about my situation and I trust them to the moon and back.

Ada, Ifeoma and Omasan

Those are their in case you were wondering. They have been supportive and shit when it comes to my 'situation'.  Don't get me wrong, they are all know this feeling is wrong. Why? Cos just as I said earlier that is not what we taught, that is not what is preached in Churches and yes we go to church, that's not our culture, our belief. They are just as confused as I am cos we believe that this only goes on in the western world and that's because they chose to act on those feelings when they can easily do the right thing.

There is this part of the Bible that says 'train a child in the way of the lord when he grows, he shall not depart from it', my parents have taught me well, my culture has taught me, society in this part of the world has taught me that this is wrong. Have I tried to suffocate this feeling? Yes, I have but it creeps up me without permission. Ada is of the opinion that it's a choice, it's either I act on them or not. So in my case I have chosen to stay on the path that my family, my culture, my society accepts. I have held onto that theory and that's what has helped me keep sane, keep my mind at ease.

It's a choice, people are that way because they decided to act on it

It kept me going, it kept me moving, it kept me in check until four months ago when my walls call crumbling down. I knew what I was walking into but I kept walking, everything in me screamed 'wrong',  'what will people say', 'what will my parents say' but I just kept going. I was scared cos I knew cos I knew where I was heading to and according to the Bible; hell, destruction. But even with that knowledge I walked in...

Rewinding back to four months ago...

Hi people, this is my first attempt of publishing on Wattpad and I hope you guys will like it. Pardon my many typos cos I know they will be there.

See you guys soon
Xoxo
Isedua