This is war (Theo James)

08 ~ don't give up on me

Part eight already! I know I'm updating pretty fast, but that's becaus I have vacation (for only one more day... sad sad sad.) but I won't be able to update as fast once I go back to school on monday, just wait, I don't want to rush this story :). 

So from this moment on, I’m going to try to dedicate my chapters to one of my followers or true readers of my story. So if you want me to dedicate this chapter to you vote or comment J. Thank you for reading! And I dedicated my last chapter to this girl who was so sweet and who commented on my story and it was just the sweetest thing ever! Thank you so much (her acc is @lil_tomlinson99, huge fan of 1D too btw J)

This time I'm dedicating my chapter to RikersTiesOnAPenny, she left a really sweet comment too! thank you :) forever thankful!

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I didn’t know how long it’s been, I thought a day. I had seen the sun rising and going down above me, I saw the stars coming and disappearing. I had been laying on the ground, not moving, I barely felt alive. Now I was nothing, the lonely girl. And I was going to be that forever. But I didn’t want to be with someone right now, I didn’t want support and pity. I just wanted to be alone, all by myself, in these woods. I wanted to hear the birds sing, alone. I wanted to see the leaves falling, alone. I wanted to be scared for my life, alone. because I thought like I deserved that, I deserved to be alone. It was my fault, it was now and it would be tomorrow.

And I wanted to think about my family and about all the things we did alone, I wanted to mourn my parents and my two sisters all by myself.

But that wasn’t was going to happen, I knew that. Theo would come look for me eventually, maybe after a day or two, maybe three. We were always together and I liked it, but I just didn’t want something to feel bad for me, it would piss me off more.

It was night again, the stars above shone even brighter than the night before. When I was younger, I used the think that each star represented a person who had died and the brightest star was a person I knew. I still liked to think that, I chose four stars close to each other and each gave them a face; my father’s, my mother’s and my two sister’s. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, they would have a better life up there, no harm was done up in heaven. Only peaceful things would be there, people with a big heart.

Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if you die, would it hurt, what would you see or what would you go through? And was there really a heaven and a hell? Did all of it really exist or was it really just a tale someone made up? No one could tell and that’s maybe the greatest thing about it, no dreams can get crushed if you just can believe what you want to believe, without someone telling you it’s not the truth.

I had known about death for such a long time, I had read about it, spoke about it, thought about it, heard about. But I never thought it would happen to the people around me.

I stood up and decided it was enough, I had sat there long enough. I brushed of my clothes and tied my hair up.

I didn’t know where to go, I wanted to be alone, as I had mentioned so many times before, but I also wanted to be somewhere familiar. Where I could feel at home or maybe forget about everything.

“amber? Is that you?” I turned around and saw a women, she was beautiful, strangely she looked just like my mother. “I’m not death, I’m here, I’m here for you. I am your mother, you know that? Right?” She didn’t sound like my mum. She sounded weak, utterly weak.

“you’re death, you’re not my mum” I voice came out, but it was barely there, it was a whisper, my throat burning.

“I am, I’m sorry, they had to think we were death, but we’re not. I promise, I love you”