Journal Entry

Day 2

Well... I'm being hospitalized... that was fucking fast. Didn't even get to double digit days before being hospitalized like that's gotta be a new record. Anyway, ya I'm updating you now instead of the end of the day since I'm being hospitalized I won't be able to. Idk when I'm getting out but I won't be able to update while I'm in there so, ya... this is my friend's faults. Like I know they care but I'm now being driven, almost in a cop car mind you, an hour away to a hospital where I won't be allowed to leave for who fucking know how long. All cause I opened up. I'm sorry but fuck that. I'm pissed. I love my friends and I know the old saying "You're mad now but you'll thank them later," but in all reality will I fucking be thankful? Or will I even be alive to give a shit? Who knows. I would've done the same and that's obvious but in my position I'm pissed. I can't say I wouldn't do the same for my friends cause human nature is to give a fuck but I always say do as I say not as I do. I guess opening up was wrong. I'm never going to that trusted teacher again. I'm not opening up to him anymore. I'm never opening up to my friends again. Fuck I may never open up to my therapist again. Look where it got me. I'm livid right now. It's my decision as to whether or not I live or die and they are keeping me from that. I understand that they care but I don't. I don't give 2 fucks what anyone thinks right now. Cause obviously look where people caring got me. So, my fellow suicidal and depressed personnel, I have no clue when I will be back. I have no clue where I'm going. Honestly I might kill myself when I get out cause I don't want to deal with another hospital visit ever again. So, let's see where this journey takes me. Good luck and good living.