( AUTOBIOGRAPHY) The Girl Who Did It On Her Own

Younger Years

I guess I had always been bullied. Even through primary school. If it wasn't for my red hair and my extremely pale skin, it was for my weight.

Now, I'm not going to lie, I was pretty big.

I would be called your stereotypical names, "ginger"- which I didn't mind because I was. Fat, whale, ugly and so much more.

I remember a boy,  who I shall call 'kevin' for confidentiality sake used to trip me up and push me. Which of course in primary, it was a minor thing.

The thing I don't agree, with is the saying "the innocence of a child", because that saying is completely false. Children can be the most cruel.

When I was younger, I was very sensitive and withdrawn. I used to be attached to my parents constantly.

When my dad, used to drop me off at primary school, he would wait at the gates and as soon as the whistle was blown, I would immediately cry, as I knew my dad was going to leave me.

Yet I knew I was going to be picked up at the end of the day.

I did it everyday without a fail until, one day my teacher Mrs Warn, Who was absolutely terrifying asked my dad to "move from the fence" as it was making me cry, to which my father replied "no". That was in year 3.

As a child, I was also extremely quite and shy, this would lead me to have difficulty making friends as I was always to frightened of the other children.

I guess that's what made me a bully victim to be honest, I was too scared to say anything or stick up for myself, even as a child I felt the pain of hardly having friends and being picked on.

I would cry to my mother about the children, mostly the boys; picking on me about my hair colour and my weight.

I remember the day my mum finally said yes to let me dying my hair, it was a week before my 10th birthday and a boy in my class. Liam he was called, poured water on my hair.

When I looked at him as if to ask why, he had just told me. "Sorry, I thought your hair was on fire".

Looking back at it now, as I 17 year old. I find it hilarious but back then, I was mortified and embarrassed. But then again, he did throw water on my head and I was a child.

The teachers sent me home early from school and my mum had to come and pick me up because I was absolutely devastated and soaking wet with water.

That was the week, I finally died my hair blonde.

I had died my hair professionally on the Saturday, then came into school on the Monday, I was so excited to see everyone's reactions as I wasn't that disgusting ginger, orange colour.

Yes, it did stop the bullying, it did stop the nasty comments on my hair, but of course they found something else to pick on.

It was my weight.

I wasn't the skinniest of children, my parents fed me well and I could always help myself in the fridge or cupboards whenever I liked, but I was chubby. Not fat, but of course as a child everything is exaggerated.

I having to justify my weight and telling them my real weight, in which they would reply by saying, "yeah and add 9 and a half stone".

I then, thankfully lost the weight in the later years, but not for good reasons. As you will find out as you read on in the book.

I remember being on 'MSN', for those of you don't have a clue of what that is, it's was like 'BBM', and for those who don't know what that is, it's like Facebook- apart from you can't upload pictures or statuses, but you could message friends.

My 'friend' who we shall call, "polly". Was not a friend in the slightest. She was a bully. I was terrified of her. She was popular and I wanted to be that as well.

I remember her telling me that if I didn't apologise for speaking to poppy without her permission, she would fall out with me, make sure I have no friends and block me on MSN.

Polly, then proceeded to count down from 10 and then blocked me, and by God, she kept her word.

I was officially friendless. She and my old friendship group would follow me and taunt me.

My last day of that school, I had been in hospital with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung, as I had and still have asthma. As someone with asthma, it is extremely easy for someone who has this condition to contract pneumonia.

I had ran out of my inhaler and had asked my teacher for help, as I couldn't breathe and was in the middle of an asthma attack.

I was panicking because I didn't know how to deal with asthma attacks back then, and was worried I needed to be in hospital.

My year 5 teacher proceeded to carry on a conversation with one of her coworkers, whilst I was wheezing.

When I finally caught her attention, she looked me dead in the eye and stated "well, what do you want me to about it".

That's, as my mum says "was the straw that broke the camels back", and took me out of my primary school and in to another.

That was the best decision they had ever made. I got along with everyone and I loved my best-friend, Millie.

I would go to Millie's every Friday and have tea there, then we would go to her room and dance to The Wanted or JLS and then we would go to church after- and repeat the same thing on Sunday.

Now, I'm not going to lie. I was a massive JLS fan, and would say that I was going to marry Aston Merrygold. I was absolutely heartbroken when I found out that he was dating someone.

I had locked myself in my room for days, only letting myself out for a drink or some food.

I wish my life, was still as simple that.