Love. Pagmamahal. Gugma. Whatever you call it, it is something that most people seek in their lives. As much as women my age see it as something closest to magic, I chose to see the reality of it.
Love is cruel. It is selfish, destructive and the most prevalent sin on Earth. For people who believe that doing anything for love regardless of how bad and perilous it is indeed is one of the silliest and ridiculous things.
I chose to see love's dark side. Not only because of being realistic, but because at young age, I get to see lots of people lose themselves of this... including me.
Matagal bago ko matanggap na maling tao ang binigyan ko ng lahat. I almost gave up my family, my friends, even Him. I have wronged a lot of people. I turned blind no matter how obvious that what we're doing was wrong.
"Happy International Men's Day!" natatawang sigaw ni Aimee sa kalagitnaan ng Robinsons Mall.
I shook my head disapprovingly. "Why would people celebrate the people behind every girl's heartaches?"
"Hoy ang bitter mo, ah!"
"Totoo naman! Kung sabagay, araw ito ng palakihan ng bayag. Mga taong pinanganak na may bayag pero wala namang bayag."
Hinampas ako ni Aimee at pinatahimik.
Some men were already glaring at me. Kahit malakas ang hampas ng music sa ground floor ng mall, 'di ko maikakaila na dinig na dinig ng ibang nakapila sa Potato Frydays ang boses ko.
Inirapan ko sila isa-isa. "Ha! Hindi porke't nagsalita na ng totoo ay bitter na. Eh sa araw ito ng mga salawahan at mga walang kwentang nilalang!"
"Hoy, miss, sobra ka na!" saway sa akin ng lalaking nasa likuran.
Sinipat ko siya at inirapan.
"Eh di takpan mo tainga mo!" iritado kong sinabi.
Mura nang mura si Aimee sa akin habang kinakaladkad ako palayo sa food stall. Siya, panay ang mura sa sinabi ko. Ako naman, panay ang mura dahil sa gutom. Malapit na kami sa counter! Ugh!
"Addie, alam ko namang malalim pa sa balon ang hugot mo sa buhay, pero huwag ka namang mag eskandalo ng ganoon! Naka-uniform ako!"
Natatawa kong tiningnan si Aimee. Talak siya nang talak habang pailing-iling. Though I feel guilty kasi manager siya sa isa mga stores dito, I just can't help it. Siguro dahil narin sa maagang karanasan.
The deeply stained Adelynn Andrada can't help but think of the experiences she had in the past years.
"Ad, it's been six years.." malungkot na sinabi ni Aimee.
I smiled bitterly at her. I smiled bitterly at myself.
"Meng, may seseryoso pa kaya sa akin?"
My eyes stung of tears. Pumikit ako nang mariin dahil sa halo halong emosyon. Matagal na pero bakit masakit parin?
"Addie, siyempre naman, oo! Ano ba naman yang mga sinasabi mo."
I shook my head involuntarily.
"I'm stained, Meng. Who would take me seriously when I am no longer as innocent as the others?"
Lumapit si Aimee sa akin at mahigpit akong niyakap. She was saying inaudible words, probably to make me feel better. I hugged her back, after a few minutes of being not responsive to her gesture.
Why do women suffer a lot of consequences compared to men? Men keep on hurting women and yet they even have the audacity to seek pure ones? Men keep on devirgnizing women, and yet, they still expect their wives to be virgins?
