Crush of A Lifetime

It Hurts but I have to Accept

10 Useful Steps To Move On

1. Clear your baggage. Acknowledge , accept and let go of the feelings.

2. Recognize that he/she is not the one for you.

3. Open up with close friends.

4. Reduce contact with him/her.

5. Seek closure

6. Forgive

7. Do the things that you love.

8. Meet new people.

9. Know that there is nothing wrong with you nor him/her.

10. Recognize there is someone out there for you.

It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all and together and come all.

Tumutugtog ang kantang yan sa isip ko as I see Sky with his present girlfriend. Angel Andrade ! Dahil sa sobrang kadramahan ko, hindi ko napansin na si Angel pala na highschool archenemy ko ang babaeng yun. Actually, para lang naman sa akin. I so hate bait-baitan girls kasi with all the mahinhin stuff. 

My heart breaks as I see how they laugh and smile at each other. Sobrang sakit isipin na yung lalaking pinangarap ko ng matagal na panahon, napunta lang sa iba. Yung lalaking tingnan lang ako kahit saglit sobrang saya ko na, tumitingin sa iba. 

Gusto kong ibaling yung tingin ko sa ibang bagay pero di ko magawa. I'm such a masochist, am I not?

Dali-dali kong pinunasan ang luhang tuloy-tuloy na tumutulo sa mga mata ko. Hindi ko na kinaya. Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa isang piercing shop. I had my tounge and the upper right corner of my ear pierced. Hindi naman siya ganun kasakit but somehow, it relieved my broken heart. Somehow, I feel numb.

Binalak ko pa sanang magpa-tattoo but Marishka already freaked out sa piercings ko pa lang. What more kung sa tattoo pa? Isa pa, baka hindi na ako papasukin ni Manong Guard sa school.

Unti-unti na akong nasasanay na nakikitang magkasama si Sky at Angel. I'm starting to open up my heart in meeting other guys, and open to the idea of me liking them. Maybe it's the diversion that I need to get him off my mind.

Kinagabihan, nag-ayos ako at pumunta sa Guilly's sa Tomas Morato. I need to unwind and meet new people. I wore a black long sleeved dress paired with a knee lenght boots. Simple lang ang ayos ko pag pumupunta sa bar. I surely love black outfits a lot. As i entered inside the premise, marami na agad mga taong nagsasayawan sa gitna. The place is a bit crowded. Wala ng maupuan kaya sa counter na lang ako pumwesto. Nakaka-tatlong bote pa lang ako ng beer pero nangangapal na yung pakiramdam ko. I'm a certified bad girl pero hindi ako malakas uminom ng alak. 

( TITANIUM REMIX : NOW PLAYING... )

With my fourth bottle in my hand, tumayo ako para pumunta sa gitna and dance wildly through the music. I was grinding and laughing at the same time. Pasigaw sigaw ako na parang tanga. Sobra na yung nararamdaman kong hilo ng may maramdaman akong humila sa braso ko paalis sa crowd. Nagpupumiglas ako pero malakas yung humila sa akin. Hinila nya ko papunta sa banyo.

" What do you think you're doing? " sinsigawan nya ko. At galit sya. I wonder why. Mukha syang frustated dahil sa pinaggaga-gawa ko. Hindi ko alam kung nag-hahallucinate ako o si Sky talaga ang nakikita ko sa harap ko. Dahil wala na ako sa tamang huwisyo , I instanly grab his face and kiss him hungrily on the mouth. I felt his resistance. Nabigla siguro sya kaya hindi sya tumutugon pero sa huli I feel that his responding with the kiss. He slipped his tounge to my mouth while I was busy rubbing his back. Touch really adds sensation to the kissing thingy. 

" Let's go some place else? " I whispered to his ear. I saw hesitaion at first but when I kissed him again, I didn't give him time to refuse . I made sure that his having the hots for me. I let him pull me to where his car was parked. I am somewhat confused kung bakit andun sya sa bar na yun pero ayoko munang mag-isip sa ngayon. Di ko alam kung bakit nagtataksil sya sa girlfriend nya. Ayokong magtanong dahil baka masira ang moment. Eto na ang pagkakataong mapasaakin sya Ramdam ko.