Devil's Seed

one

When daddy went to prison, things changed drastically. My mother's whole mindset changed for the worst. She started neglecting her responsibilities as time went on. She cried all day, praying and wishfully thinking about my father magically showing up at her door step, but we both knew the real truth. Daddy was never coming home. If he really committed all those crimes, maybe he didn't need to. I'm not going to say I'm afraid of my own father, but sometimes that fear creeps up from the back of my mind and makes it's presence known.

They say hard times don't last forever, but shit. How long do they last? They also say time heals all wounds, but how much time does it take to heal this one? To heal the scar of watching my father, my first love, my provider and my protector being taken away forever, only to later find out he's a serial killer.

He got taken away 8 years ago and it's still a fresh wound. The wound hasn't closed or even attempted to heal itself. Pain is inevitable in anyone's life, but this is a pain I'd never thought I would experience. A pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I still remember opening the door to guns in my face and loud shouting for everyone to put their hands up. I can't forget those faces, they were no heroes to me, but to the rest of the country they were. They'd finally caught the sadistic, sociopathic killer who murdered over 10 women all over the east coast.

But here I am, 8 years later, surviving and shit; barely keeping it together.

"It's really time huh?" my mother asked flicking her cigarette onto our carpet.

I shook my head in disapproval, "Yeah, but I'm ready. I'm ready to experience something new," I replied truthfully.

Watching my mother rot mentally and physically over the years has really took a toll on me. I felt somewhat guilty because as time went on, I began to feel less and less sorry for her. If I can pick myself up after he left, then she could've put in the same effort as I did.

Am I really ready though? A new state, new school, and brand new beginnings. I had every reason to be scared out of my mind right now, but the only emotion I feel right now is utter excitement.

My mom always kept me out of the shadows. She didn't want me to deal with the scrutiny of my father's mistakes so she had my last name changed back to her maiden name a month after daddy got arrested. She kept hers the same though because she claimed she made vows to my father and she didn't planning on betraying him and breaking those vows.

If only he had the same respect and common decency for her though. Instead he cheated and lied and did unspeakable things behind her back which should've crumbled that perfect American dream a long time ago.

She sighed, "Okay well let's start moving some of this shit in. You bought your whole room with you," she teased.

"Cause I gotta be ready for anything ma," I laughed.

The car ride to school was eerily silent. I knew my mother was on edge because I was leaving her even though she showed no interest when I was home.

After daddy was arrested, she became obsessed with daddy's case and looking for loopholes to appeal his conviction, but it was pointless. See, he got messy on his last victim and didn't properly rid the crime scene of the evidence, which gave the police solid DNA evidence on my father. They found his skin cells under her fingernails, prints all over clothing and they even found semen on and inside of her body. I can't even imagine the pain and agony she went through under my dad's control. As I got older and started learning the gruesome details of my father's crimes, the harder it was to be in contact with him. He was a monster in the world's eyes and I think he may be one in mine now too.