Bride To Be,Groom To Be

The good husband

Respect is earned not gained, how you speak and how you act in words shows the total message of what you are.it is vital in a good Islamic marriage that the wife respect her husband, other wise the marriage is going to be miserable business. It is not true that a Muslim wife must obey her husband in all aspect, there is a very important proviso.
That is if he orders her to do anything that clashes with Islam.
There for ,when a wife respect her husband, he must do his utmost to be worthy of and to merit that respect. Muslim husband have the beloved prophet himself as their example they are expected to try to be like him.
Most men when they first marry, have to learn how to take hold of that position of authority, they  have usually not been in such a position before, but were merely young men in someone else's house.the new husband has to realize that when he has just been promoted to the position of boss of his households.
The moment a boss is said to be unfair, incapable or dishonest he is in big trouble, honesty is the key because with out it the rest of the religion is worthless, how can a wife truly respect her husband when she knows he fakes illness, lies, fiddle tax or even pinches things?
What else make boss unpopular for his workers?
When they are domineering. To gain respect, a man has to show himself steady and strong and able to take decision but that does not mean his wife opinion does not count, or that the wife's decisions should never be seriously considered, A domineering wife is worse than a domineering husband! Moreover, wives do not usually appreciates husband who abuses his position of leadership by leaving everything to her and passing over all the decision making, when that happens, the wife soon begin to wonder of what use is the husband and whether she might actually manage better with out him.
This applies to husbands honoring their wife on a sexual relationship, so much frigidity and lack of interest on the part of wives is caused by husbands who are arrogant of woman's physical and emotional make up,some husband are harsh and demanding, satisfy their own needs without considering those of their wives, demand sex when their wives are tired or feeling ill or when they have earlier upset them and put them right out of mood. The principle is fairness, yes the husband may have earned the money but the wife make it possible for him to and has right over it.'you shall give her to eat when you take your food, and you shall clothe her when you clothe yourself'(Abu daud)

If the wife falls out of expectations, it I'd stupid to treat her harshly and make her life unpleasant, try to improve matters by tact and gentleness, don't start trying to run the kitchen yourself, pushing her out of the way and making her feel embarrass and small.' Which ever a man is patients with the bad character of his wife shall be given a reward like that into which job shall receive, and which ever a woman has to be patient with  the bad character of her husband shall be given the same reward as Asiya'( Al-ghazali)

What really is true love?
Love is based on many things, but to be of true value it must go beyond mere human affection or mutual desire and be governed by what is for the highest good of the loved one. True love does not behave indecently or with vulgarity. A good husband does not discuss the shortcomings or intimate skills of their spouse with others which will be hurtful if found out,nobody want to be laugh at especially on something which is private and personal. The blessed prophet peace be upon him said' On the day of judgment, the lowest person in the sight of Allah will be the man who is intimate with his wife and then broadcast her secret'( Muslim).
The good husband comes from work , but does not the duty of his family,he may not be in the mood to chatter, and he needs to rest, but his wife has been treasuring some details to tell him all day; and where as he may have been surrounded by adult to whom he could talk to and enjoy conversations, she may have had no one to talk to but the baby and the curtain.