"Telling" is a pet peeve of the American publishing industry [agents, editors, publishers].
This is a "big deal" and I just read about it again on a Wattpad how to book: Cracking the Wattpad Code. The author dedicated an entire chapter to it, called "Get Featured! Part 2. It's not only educational but extremely humorous. I highly recommend it.
So, this is best SHOWN, not told to you [pun intended].
Below is MY paragraph of telling:
He told me to jump but I didn't want to. Then he leaned close and I wanted him. He was gorgeous. I really felt desire for his lips. He hugged me and then kissed me. It was a good kiss. I really liked it and got excited.
Below is a lovely paragraph of showing, taken from "Mr. Tate," generously donated by donovanandrea
I was about to ask him about the jump part, but all was forgotten as his lips descended on mine. I saw his eyes close, his thick lashes fanned against his cheeks. I felt Griffin's body shudder as he pulled me in closer, his warm lips coaxing mine to open. Oh my god and when they did and the heat of his tongue touched mine, I fell into the magical spell he cast.
See the difference? In my telling paragraph, you know what is happening. In the paragraph by donovanandrea you are skillfully drawn in by what she "shows" you.
*****
A/N: Is this helpful?
I will keep an eye out @DianaTheThird and o0eliza0o
for more examples.
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