You wake up in a luxurious bedroom not knowing how you got there. Your admiring the room and see a God of a man sitting on a chair nearby. Little did you know that man could change your life from better to worse.....
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Malik & I ate breakfast early that morning & Jackson had a fit when he woke up and there was barely any food left for him. I left Malik and Jackson in the kitchen yelling at each other over who should make more breakfast.
Jackson was trying to defend his position that Malik should make breakfast since he ate everything and helped put away all the baby stuff while Malik & I slept. I walked back into the bedroom and grabbed my towel and headed into the bathroom.
I turned the water on to luke warm and took off my clothes and got in, I imagined the water washing all my pain and constant reminders of the past down the drain. As I scrubbed my skin and watched the water go down the drown, I focused on letting go of things and relaxing and for the first time in months, my body relaxed and I did as well. I guess that crying session let me release more than I thought.
I turned off the water and got out of the shower. I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed back to the bedroom, Malik was in the room and he had food all over his shirt, I didn't know why he and Jackson were forever going at it. I looked at Malik with his helpless childish eyes and busted out laughing. Malik looked even sadder than before and I laughed a little more as I walked towards our closet and started picking out clothes for today.
"Oh you think this is funny?" Malik asked as he snuck up behind me and started tickling me. I didn't hear him sneak up behind me, sometimes Malik reminded me of a ninja with the way he was so killed at being quiet and sneaky with stuff. It freaked me out a little.
I couldn't help laughing, how could I I'm a extremely ticklish person. I turned around and playfully hit Malik to get him to stop since I couldn't really talk nor breath. Malik stopped and held me close. Through our laughs, we both became really serious and Malik kissed me.
For the first time in months, I was extremely happy. I mean after the breakup with my ex boyfriend before Chris, and then Chris. I never actually had time to take a second and breath. Malik changed that, he gave me space and allowed me to breath as much as I wanted. I always wanted to show him how much I loved him through little things like dinner dates or surprises, but I always felt like they were never good enough.
I pulled away from Malik & scrunched up my nose. "You smell like flour and bacon grease." I said. Malik just chuckled, I tried to pull little pieces of food out of his hair but I gave up after a while. It was just too much food in his hair. "Go take a shower please." I said. Malik gave me a quick kiss in response and left the room to take a shower.
I just turned back to the closet and searched for something comfortable to wear in the house since I wasn't planning on going anywhere. I found one of Malik's green t-shirts and some maternity slacks in the dresser. I put everything on and pulled my hair into a messy ponytail. Today was my relax day.
I left the bedroom, and walked past the kitchen where Jackson was being fat and trying to cook a thousand things at once, and into the second bedroom in the apartment. The room wasn't painted yet, Jackson and Malik were going to paint it after the baby was born.
Since we wouldn't know the gender until the day, and the baby crib was still sitting in the box. I walked past the crib box and touched it. I imagined seeing a baby in it, looking up at me and I touched my belly. I was excited for the gift but I was more nervous than anything, I've never seen myself as the mother type.
I walked to the rocking chair in the room, sitting in front of the bedroom and picked up the book sitting there. I picked it up and stared out the window. Today was rainy, but New York was always pretty when it rained, it may not always be the best thing when you have to drive, but it was always nice to look at. The rain calmed me for some reason. I opened the book to a new page and wrote a new entry.
