I Promise You

I'll Hold Your Hand

Changgu took a deep breath, the scent of his friend hitting his senses and then sighed softly. It was nice and comfortable, but it wasn't the scent he's been needing for the last couple of weeks. He opened his eyes and looked around, noticing that they still had a long way to go until their next location and then looked up at Hongseok, giving him a small smile before he rested his head back on his hyung's shoulder.

"Tired?" Hongseok simply asked, but Changgu knew the word was a cover up for another question.

"I'm fine, hyung. It won't take long, right?"

"We'll be home in a couple of hours." The older one squeezed his hand gently. "He's fine, don't worry. Did he say anything?"

"He watched the performance... said something about Jinho hyung looking cool today." Changgu smiled, noticing the sky has turned darker while he was taking a nap. Has he eaten yet?

"Wasn't he supposed to have a vocal practice today?" He could feel Hongseok looking down at him.

"In the morning." The younger one paused. "He spent the afternoon at home though." Hongseok didn't say anything for a long moment, so Changgu unlocked his phone and looked at the last message he exchanged with Yanan, still unseen.

"You should talk to him." His hyung finally said when Changgu shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"I am talking." He sighed, running his hand through his own hair.

"I don't think it's enough... you know how hard it is for him now. And how lonely he is."

"I am too." The younger blurted out, shutting Hongseok up for good.

It was hard. It was frustrating really. Changgu closed his eyes again, willing himself to take another nap hoping the time will pass faster that way. But his thoughts wouldn't let him. It wasn't that big of a deal really, he knew he was being irrational about this, Yanan was recovering pretty fast and it shouldn't be long before he joins them all again. Still, he wasn't there with them now.

He felt childish for thinking like that, for feeling that way. His tall best friend was there in a way, calling them in between schedules, texting all the time, monitoring what they were doing and in the evenings they were together. He was there all the way, but he still wasn't... "there".

Changgu had no idea he could miss someone's physical presence so bad. He was aching for Yanan, both for him being by his side all the time and for him missing out on Pentagon activities. Sure they were making sure he felt like he was a part of it all, but he wasn't and they all knew no one ever could fill that gap or bring this time that he was missing back. More often than not Changgu was imagining what it must feel like for Yanan and he didn't like those emotions one bit. He couldn't be selfish, he could never be selfish in front of the Chinese boy, so his own feelings of emptiness without him had to wait. It was hard, but Yanan had it harder.

Changgu spent a lot of time thinking. He suspected the others weren't really aware of that, but he was thinking a lot. He was rather perceptive too, usually he would notice the small things, the subtle hints going on around him. Yuto was in love Jinho, Hongseok was the one everyone would go to for spilling secrets while eating a delicious meal, Shinwon was working harder than ever, Wooseok was secretly stealing Hyunggu's chocolate just for the sake of watching him pout, but also eating one less piece of pizza to see him smile and recently something has shifted in Huidawn relationship. He was secretly proud of himself for knowing those things before others would. The fact that he did without much effort was a plus, he thought it was one of his strong advantages – a trait that made him invaluable to their team even.