Since Jim had gotten back, Seb had been in hell. He was drinking more often than he ever had, he hadn't tocuhed food once. But he couldn't walk out, he couldn't go, no matter what shit Jim put him through, he could never imagine walking out...perhaps it was because he loved the man, maybe it was what had happened to everyone who had walked away from Jim before.
Seb woke up with Alik's blood still on his hands.
The boy hadn't made it easy, Seb had taken him out into the nearby moors, Alik had tried to dodge the bullet, and it hit his neck instead of his head. Seb remembered the image of the collapsed boy, clawing at his leg, blood pouring from his mouth and neck, pleading, trying to scream but all that came out was a pained gargle as the blood flooded his throat.
Did this happen to everyone involved with Jim eventually? Pain, hurt , death in many different ways. Yes, yes it must. Seb had never seen someone come out clean after being involved with Jim in any way.
Seb had shot the boy once again, in his forehead to finish the job. He'd avoided the glazed, but fearful gaze of the boy. He only looked into his eyes once they were blank . After his body had finally crumpled to the ground, dead, Seb had dragged him to the boot of his car, He chucked the body where all the bodies he disposed of went. Into the marsh. The mud there was so thick and so deep, that nothing had ever come out once it had sunk into it's depths.
Now, he was alone in his bedroom, staring at the blood on his hands and wondering where the joy, the rush he had once gotten out of a job had gone. He stood up, wobbling slightly. He was hungover, well that wasn't a new experience. He reached his door and leant against it, he knew Jim was somewhere on the other side. He was simoultaniuosly dreading and anticipating leaving the room, so he just stood there. Eyes closed, head to the door , pushing his hand against the wood.
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Jim had left his room (trying not to remember the sleepless night he'd just had) about ten minutes before Seb woke up. He usually left practically everything to Seb, but this time, he put some bacon in a pan , and he mopped the bloody foortprints from the floor that led to Seb's room.
When he reached Seb's door, he paused. Butterflies flooded his stomach, and he cringed. He stood up, leaving the bloodied rag on the floor, and placed a palm on Seb's door, he leant his head against it and closed is eyes.
Seb's room always smelt like burnt toast. Seb did too. Seb practically lived off the stuff sometimes, so it wasn't suprising. Jim remembered when he was away, he would intentionally burn toast even though he didn't like the taste, he loved the smell. He never realised why, until now. He chuckled silently, sadly. Everything about the man captivated him, and he couldn't deny it.
Even the fact that he bloody smelt like toast,and the fact that he still hadn't walked away. Jim hadn't realised how long he'd been stood there until he felt the door move. He jumped back and picked up the bloody rag from the floor. Standing up to face a dead eyed Seb, clad in a blood stained white t-shirt and jeans, blood coating his hands and arms.
"Morning..." Seb muttered, slightly puzzled that he could smell bacon cooking, and that Jim was cleaning up blood from the floor. That had always just been left to Seb. He said nothing about it and squeezed past, walking through to the kitchen. Jim sighed.
"How did it go?" Jim shouted through, he followed Seb into the kitchen and saw him staring stiffly at the bacon cooking in the pan. Jim put the rag in the bin, and turned the bacon onto a lower light.
"Seb?"
Seb shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"It eh, he struggled a bit, wasn't a clean job" He gestured to his blood covered clothes, " But, he's gone...Why are you cooking bacon?"
Jim nodded and then turned the pan off, "Breakfast?" .
Leaning against the counter, Seb crossed his arms, he frowned, " Poisoned is it? A little bit more entertainment needed now you've had your fuck buddy killed?" he spat.
Jim suppressed a wince, "No, it's just bacon." To prove it, Jim plucked a peice of the bacon from the pan and took a bite. " It's fine."
Seb wasn't having it, " Why then? You never clean, you never cook, you never ask how a job went if you know the guy is dead and this time it's pretty fucking obvious. Why ? Why are you arsed to act like a human being today?"
Jim sighed and was trying to force himself into saying something cruel, okay yeah the bacon is poisoned . But for some unfathomable reason, he just said "You seemed tired. "
As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he could never deny his feelings for Seb, they were there, he knew , they were clear, he could never back track on his thoughts and tell himself they were silly. He was trapped more than he ever had been before.
Seb's eyebrows rose, " I was, i am , but that won't have anything to do with it, why would you consider another human beings feelin-"
"I'm sorry. " Jim looked to his feet, Seb stared at him .
" Sorry?" He looked bewildered, what on earth was Jim doing this time?
"Yes i'm sorry! I'm sorry I never contacted in 2 years and 8 months, i'm sorry about Alik, I'm sorry...I can't do this anymore Seb, I can't pretend. "
Seb said nothing, he felt sick, he uncrossed his arms, just to cross them again, he didn't know what to do with himself whilst Jim spoke.
"Seb I bloody care." He said eventually, Seb looked up expecting a smirk, or even an expression of disgust playing across Jim's face...but never in a lifetime would he have expected what he saw. Releif.
But it wasn't enough, " You- You're lying." he muttered, tears brimmed his eyes, but he would not let them fall, no, not again.
"Seb, i'm telling you the truth, i'm-"
"THIS IS CRUEL! " Seb pushed away from the counter and grabbed Jim by the shirt, " This is the cruelest and most unforgivable thing you've done to me yet, you bas-" Seb stopped speaking, as his lips were suddenly covered by Jim's.
His eyes widened in suprise, but he let go of Jim's collar, his eyes closed, and he hesitantly wrapped an arm around Jim's waist. He felt Jim smile and pull him closer. He was kissing Jim...
Jim pulled away and leant his head on Seb's chest. "I'm sorry, I care. I care..." , his voice was muffled, but Seb heard, he wrapped his arms tighter around Jim, and not knowing what to do, buried his face in Jim's hair.
YOU ARE READING
Tiger
Fanfiction*post his last vow* Moriarty returns from the dead to his assassin Sebastian Moran. However things don't seem the same... Moriarty competes with his brain, but in his attempt to rid himself of his problems, his feelings, will he just cause torture...
